Weekly World News has the scoop on Bernanke!

You only think that they’re joking.


WASHINGTON, DC – Bernanke finally admits how he predicted the end of the recession: Astrology!

Critics and economists have hounded Ben Bernanke since his report on Tuesday, wondering how he could say the recession would be over this year, and 2010 would be a “year of recovery.” Last night, the Federal Reserve Chairman revealed that his predictions came from a combination of applied economic theory and consulting ancient star charts.

While making no promises, Bernanke said that if the Obama administration and the Fed are able to stabilize the financial markets, the planets are in alignment for the recession to end this year.

“Mercury is in retrograde, likely to stop by the end of the year. That is when Jupiter and Venus will take over as the dominant planetary influences, which is a condition we haven’t seen since 1997.”

Well, OK, they’re joking, but their point is – as is not uncommon for the WWN – spot on.

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