2009 celebrates Military MindF*cks…

in its usual style.  I offer this one about #6 (Chuko “Sleeping Dragon” Liang):

According to historians, during the War of the Three Kingdoms, accompanied by a consort of just 100 soldiers and the rest of his army miles away, Chuko saw an opposing army with over 100,000 men marching towards him. The opposing general, Sima Yi, was a veteran who had fought Chuko in multiple battles. Familiar with the Sleeping Dragon’s clever ways and, deciding to take no chances, he led the massive army to capture Chuko.

Ordering his few men into hiding, Chuko commanded that the town gates be left wide open and, positioning himself atop the city wall, he proceeded to play the lute as the massive enemy army approached. Upon his arrival at the town gates, Sima Yi, who had fallen victim to many a Chuko-led ambush, halted his army and studied Chuko’s calm manner as he ripped a solo on the chords.

Convinced it was a trap he could not yet comprehend, Sima commanded a hasty retreat, more than a 100,000 soldiers pulling back from one man and his musical instrument. Chuko thus earned an entire wing in the Bullsh*tter’s Hall of Fame.

…mostly because some of you may need to look a gamemaster in the eye some day, and tell him or her that of course that damfool idea that the party came up with will work. After all, it worked for Chuko, right?

Moe Lane

PS: Remember. The trick is to get them to agree to roll the dice. Once you get to roll the dice, you can get the modifiers that you need.  But you have to be able to roll the dice.

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