If you’re like me, you have been waiting for this day – the day that Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus came out, direct-to-video – for two years*. You have, of course, pre-ordered it – but what happens once it’s arrived, and you’ve watched it six times? What will you do then?
Why, you’ll go pick up some of the other works that the stars and director have done, of course.
Lorenzo Lamas: Best known for his pioneering work in the critical field of “guy on a motorcycle having serial adventures” television, Lamas has also recently appeared in 30,000 Leagues Under the Sea as The French Guy That Verne Based The Plot Around and Succubus – Hell Bent as nobody in particular. MSvGO is not his first foray into giant, bad tempered sea animal movies; he is no doubt reprising his work in Dark Waters. I say ‘no doubt’ because nobody at Amazon bothered to review it, and I mean nobody. I mention this because the other two movies have got some pretty good vicious “Please, make the bad men stop” types of reviews attached, the philistines.
Deborah Gibson. Not being a crude sort of fellow, I will of course refrain from linking directly to the Playboy collection found halfway down the screen at the previous link. Even if she is apparently in it, and starkers. Because I’m classy that way. No, I’ll just link to her work in Payback – which I cannot quite recall, but I’m sure that IMBD isn’t lying – and, of course, her groundbreaking work in My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend. Which is not to be confused with Coffee Date, as there are apparently no sock puppets in this one. I suppose that I should point out that as Debbie Gibson she actually has an Amazon store, but that feels slightly cruel.
Ace Hannah: Why no Ace Hannah listed, besides MSvGO? That’s because he’s actually Jack Perez. And why is he hiding the name?
Beats me, man.
I hope that this helps you in your future shopping experience. And, remember: these people all get paid for this, and I don’t. Which does, indeed, suggest that there may some confusion over who the joke’s actually on, here…
*Give or take two years.