That dare comes from my wife, who has this annoying habit of finding the one piddling inconsistency in what is otherwise a veritable symphony of my plausible nonsense. In this case, we were discussing weather patterns across the United States (and how it relates to jumping a dead car battery). So. Fine. Texas is part of the East. It’s on the Gulf of Mexico; that’s part of the Atlantic Ocean. Hence, Texans are Easterners.
Texans may now declare kanly upon my House and hunt me down at their leisure. I accept my fate; but what could I do? She dared me.