Excuse me while I freak out for a bit.
Bees. Freaking bees.
Supposedly — assuming they’re honey bees, and not Africanized — bees are at their most docile during a swarm. Never tested it, myself.
David: if that’s what I think it is, that video is a scene of Lovecraftian horror.
Rob: I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of checking.
What you need is a hornet A-Team:
If they don’t move on of their own accord, a beekeeper will come get them at little or no charge.
If you want them to move on, and have time to waste, time for a smokey barby. Break out the briquettes and fire it up on the front porch with a good dose of lighter. Toss on some nice oil soaked rags. Burning oil soaked rags are a common source of smoke used by beekeepers to get bees to move out of the way without upsetting them too much.
Assuming its honey bees, look in the phonebook for beekeepers (apiary) and they’ll quickly show up and remove the hive to add to their own collect, typically for no charge. There’s a bee shortage and any new health swarm is typically welcomed. Plus they probably came from some beekeeper in the first place when a hive split into two.
We’ve put the call out to get the proto-hive gone in a non-apicidal(?) fashion. Fun fact: it’s amazing how fast you can get people to help you on the phone when you start conversations with “Hi. A swarm of bees has moved in.” I’m thinking of using this gambit the next time I need something from the MVA.
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