People apparently know my weaknesses: I was specifically sent a link to this report that they’re going ahead with a movie version of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. The guy who wrote it was also the same person who collaborated with Jane Austen in the classic Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: I’ve read AL:VH, and it’s… not a bad choice for a movie adaptation, really. I mean, it’s one of those films where things are clear from the start: here is the beloved Abraham Lincoln, one of the chief gods in the American civic pantheon. He will now kill evil vampires for you. There is very little need to expand on that further; hating that idea is almost like hating America itself.
And if you think that’s disrespectful, well: I’m pretty sure that if he was still around on opening night then Abe Lincoln would have been in the front row, laughing his ass off. Then again, I also think that Austen would have loved P&P&Z, or at least the ninja.