Denver: bronze sheep stolen for their scrap value.

Before you laugh, the two sheep were valued at fifteen grand apiece (admittedly, that’s their value as art): I have no idea how much a life-sized bronze sheep weighs*, but it was apparently enough to make it a criminal target in this marvelous economy that’s been so carefully nurtured by the current administration.  Did you know that there’s been since 2008 a statewide law enforcement program (“Stop Theft of Metal Products,” or STOMP) in Colorado dedicated to handle the specific surge of scrap-metal felonies?  Well, now you do.  And are you wondering why copper and tin are suddenly more expensive?  Well, for copper at least it’s the old story: increased demand + reduced supply (via government regulation of new mines, among other things) = more expensive copper.  And, apparently = more stolen bronze sheep.

OK, end of mini-stealth rant against the alphabet soup of agencies that make up our mining regulatory regime: I’ll end instead on a point of order.  Regarding one of the stolen sheep (the cops made an arrest after a scrap yard called in the cops after an suspicious attempt at a sale, by the way):

“I found out they have some evidence that one of the sheep was cut up,” Wilson said. “So that’s kind of a gruesome thought, but the other one we’re not sure what happened to it.”

Um.  No.  It’s a bronze sheep.  A live stolen sheep being cut up for its spare parts… well, OK, that’s only really gruesome if it’s being done at home, instead of a meat-processing plant.  And as for the aesthetic value… well.  I’ve seen pictures of the sheep.  They’re not ugly… but Rodin sculptures, they ain’t.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

Via Drudge.

*Neither does the Internet, apparently.  Odd.

10 thoughts on “Denver: bronze sheep stolen for their scrap value.”

  1. I don’t really see where grues enter into it, either way. Cutting up a live sheep at home sounds awkward and messy, though. It would be advisable to lay down a tarp or something first.

    Also, you seem to have some dangling asterisks, Moe.

  2. Also:

    copper=commodity Commodities traded in $’s If a dollar is worth less you need more of them to buy copper

  3. Taking the average cubic footage of a sheep* as 11 cu. ft., just multiply by 509 lb/cu.ft. (specific wt of bronze); it’s 5599 lb., or right around there. At a current scrap price (from what I can tell with a fast search) of $2.44/lb, we’re looking at a cool thirteen grand for a bronze sheep.

    * That figure is actually the space a sheep needs to be transported in a stock railroad car, but they seem to mush up in there pretty close, so it’s not too terribly far off. If you’d like, knock it down to a nice even 5000 lbs.

    1. A-ha! You have assumed that the cow is a sphere… wait, no, wrong one.

      Anyway, what if the sheep is hollow*? – Because that’s why I didn’t worked out the numbers (I HAVE all the GURPS books): math like that is hard. 🙂

      Moe Lane

      *And what’s there’s more in there than just… air? Those bronze statues are everywhere these days, but you never see anybody actually buy them; and their owners don’t typically talk about them, much. They just sort of… stare past you, when you ask.

  4. For pity’s sake.

    If the sheep is hollow, simply assume whatever percentage you like of air, and subtract. If you’re talking, for example, about a six-inch thick shell, then that … something … mumblety … look, doesn’t your wife do hard math for a living? Make her calculate your damn sheep yields.

    This press conference is over.

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