#rsrh NYT: Second recession may mean proOHMYGODPANICPANICPANIC

I’m going to summarize this NYT article, only with some subtext added:

We’re on the verge of a second recession.  The problem is that the first recession – which got triggered after the Democrats lied and smeared their way into control of Congress in 2006, and then proceeded to show a talent for sober fiscal governance comparable to those of crack-smoking meerkats – was thoroughly mucked up by said addicted meerkats, not least because they had the bad luck after 2008 to have as their figurehead a Democratic community organizer who can’t even do demagoguery properly (it’s surprisingly hard to ritually summon a Mob via Teleprompter).  Couple that with a charmingly naive Cargo Cultist mentality when it comes to Keynesian economic theory, add the amusing detail that the government has run out of solutions to spectacularly mess up, and you end up with an official government economic policy that can be summed up as follows:

But on the bright side: all those evil, evil corporations that went Full Metal Turtle when they realized that the people running the government were finding the Removing The Thumb maneuver too difficult to perform at least have enough money squirreled away to maintain payroll.  So, sucks to be you if you’re unemployed – but if you have a job, hey, at least you can keep eating.

Have a nice day!

Honestly, I don’t know why the newspapers don’t try writing what they want to write, rather than the things that they think that we think we want them to write…