…for given values of fun. No complications, but I’m going to have a little rest now.
– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Aww… Now I can’t avenge you. 😉
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my gallbladder…..
Can’ t finish death jokes to somebody in a hospital.
Get well soon
@Spegen: Sure you can. It’s easy. Here’s one to Moe:
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, “Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?”
The first man approached him and said, “Sir, I don’t wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I’ve ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?”
The mourner took a moment to collect himself, then replied, “My wife’s first husband.”
Get better soon, or we’ll send a bagpiper to serenade you.
A bagpiper was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. The deceased had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper’s cemetery in the Kentucky back country.
As he was not familiar with the backwoods, the musician got lost and, being a typical man, didn’t stop for directions.
He finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guys had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight. There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.
He felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. The bagpiper went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. He didn’t know what else to do, so he started to play.
The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. He played out his heart and soul for this man with no family and friends.
He played like no one had ever played before for this homeless man.
And as he played ‘Amazing Grace,’ the workers began to weep. They wept, he wept, everyone all wept together. When he finished he packed up his bagpipes and started for the car. Though his head hung low, his heart was full.
As the bagpiper returned to his car, one of the workers say, “I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.”
Glad you posted an update….although I am cracking up at the jokes being told.
A man finds a genie in a bottle. The Genie says that he can have anything he wants but his mother-in-law gets double. The man thinks long and hard and responds: ” I will take a million dollars and beat me half to death”
I realize what you guys are doing so cut it out! Moe needs time to heal ad laughing after belly surgery isn’t very fun, so, KNOCK IT OFF!
No, no, bad jokes are good. Like the one about Gorbachev: he woke up one morning, went to the window, and on a lark said “Good morning, Comrade Sun!” To his shock, the sun replied “Good morning, Comrade Secretary! And may you have a glorious day leading the Soviet workers to the inevitable victory of the proletariat!”
This pleased Gorbachev no end, once he got over the shock: clearly, even the sun is on his side. So, at the end of the day, he went to another window and said to the sun, “Good night, Comrade Sun!”
“Good night, Comrade Sun!”
“Good NIGHT, Comrade Sun!” Still no answer, so Gorbachev got a little ticked and said “Comrade Sun, why will you not answer me?”
And the sun said “Screw you, buddy, I’m in the West now!”
…And that is my favorite bad joke.
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