And before anyone points out that Detroit does not actually have any zombies, let me note that at this point it does not matter:
The war to keep the lights on in Detroit is a serious one. Thieves, antiquated equipment and a lack of funding have made it impossible for city officials to catch up to the problem.
City officials estimate 15-20 percent of the 88,000 lights in the Motor City are not working, and they acknowledge that figure could be as high as 50 percent in some neighborhoods. Providing lighting to the city costs $10.7 million annually.
The city is already in a post-apocalyptic scenario: it merely needs to have its leadership accept that.
So here’s my plan.
The Detroit Zombie Plan.
- Create a core territory. Something easily defensible, and with some sort of existing resource base. The center of government is a tempting choice, but I would suggest instead the riverfront, the airport, and what was once parkland.
- Consolidate. Pull in every citizen of Detroit who wants to move to the core territory. Everybody that doesn’t want to move… well. They’re on their own.
- Fortify. Control access in or out. This is why the core territory needs the parkland; Detroit’s going to be growing their own food for a while.
- Police core area aggressively. Giuliani levels will do.
- Expulsion. Break the law in Detroit? Hey, there’s the exit, right over there. And stay out.
- Stabilize. Grow crops. Start up businesses. Trade with outside world.
- Expand. Once conditions stabilize in the core area, increase the core area one burned-out block at a time.
…Yes, I know that this is so impossible to implement that it deserves new synonyms for “impossible:” still, it’d actually kind of work. Up until people started suing, that is.
PS: They tried Robocop already.