…Why do people design cribs that can’t fit through doors?

This is a question that I have asked several times over the last hour and a half, usually in conjunction with either profanity; scatological commentary; and/or mild head trauma.  I should have filmed this; at one point I had the darn thing balanced on my head.

No, really.  I have one of those town houses where you have one room a floor.  Normally not a big deal, but when you’re in the middle of an exercise in applied topology…

Moe Lane


  • Catseye says:

    To keep the baby from rolling out the door?

  • lourae says:

    I say this ALL the time–“My life is a Stooges episode.”

    Hey Moe!

  • niall says:

    Did you perchance get this crib from the same folks who made Dirk Gently’s couch?

  • Spegen says:

    Solution: chainsaw

  • Kresh says:

    …because they’re not supposed to be mobile? On purpose?

    Why is it manufacturer fail and not user fail? I mean, YOU WERE BALANCING IT ON YOUR HEAD. I’m pretty sure that’s not covered in the user’s manual (you know, the two-page pamphlet that contains the phrase “Place Baby on Soft Side”).

    In other words; PICK A ROOM AND STAY THERE. Sheesh. It’s not rocket science… unless the crib actually has rockets installed. Then ignore everything I’ve said. You have bigger issues… like telling us where to buy one of our own.

  • Ric Locke says:

    Wait a minute. You need to find out, first, if you should be cussing the crib or the door.

    Doors in the US were a standard width for a century or more. Interior doors were 30″, exteriors 32″, in both cases before adding the molding that stops the door from swinging and seals the cracks. That datum is embedded in the database of everybody who makes things that go in houses, including furniture, fridges, washing machines… and cribs. If you go and measure your stuff, in practically all cases you’ll find it has at least one dimension that will go through a 28″ or 28.5″ opening — an interior door with moldings. The few things that don’t, like fridges, are usually installed in rooms with an exterior door, and will go through 31″, though sometimes just barely, and you might have to, e.g., take the door off the fridge before it will go.

    But if your town house was built in the last twenty years it’s highly likely the builder saved a few bucks by putting in narrower doors, generally 30″ exterior and 28″ interior, though I’ve seen a few that are 28/26 — basically trailer dimensions. Go ahead and cuss the builder and architect; furniture and appliance designers certainly do, and with feeling. But remember, you’re the one who bought the place.

  • Catseye says:

    Depending on the type of windows you have it may be easier to move large pieces of furniture into and out of the house thru the windows than the doors that is the way my lower windows are built. Works great on couches, we haven’t had to buy a crib for the next grand kid yet so we”ll see. It does make doing repairs/replacement of the windows a pain since they are non-standard sizes.

  • BCochran1981 says:

    Some comments from people that don’t have kids. The reason you move that stuff is that a) you’re getting rid of it, or b) you’re having another kid and want to reuse it because it’s f@&$#ing expensive. I found this out the hard way when I attempted to move our rocker/glider from my older daughter’s room (where it was assembled) to my younger daughter’s room. And btw, what’s with all the “so it’s not mobile!” comments?? Since when is a crib ever mobile? Don’t believe I’ve ever seen a crib on wheels. And even if it was on wheels, how exactly are the kids gonna move it from inside?

  • DanB says:

    The couch…the couch, it tasks me. It tasks me and I shall have it! I’ll drag it ’round the moons of Nibia and ’round the Antares Maelstrom and ’round Perdition’s flames before I give it up!

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