Let me solve Bioware’s two problems for it.

OK, so Bioware has two ‘problems.’

  1. There will be no more Dragon Age 2 DLC.  This is a problem.
  2. Many people don’t like the Mass Effect 3 ending.  I do not consider this a problem, but never mind that right now.

So… the answer is simple, is it not?

Yes, it is.  The first draft of this came damned close to being fanfic, so let me summarize.  You’re Commander Shepard, and you wake up in Morrigan’s hut.  She needs your help: you see, you remember that Star Child?  The one that gave you that choice at the end of the game?  Well, it turns out that he was actually an Old God reborn, and Morrigan called you from beyond the gulfs of time to rectify her mistake before the child creates an infinite temporal loop that will condemn the galaxy to endless cycles of destruction and pain…

There you go, Bioware.  ULTIMATE MASHUP.  Especially when you go get Revan for the midgame; your fans will forgive you quite a bit for that. 

Moe Lane

PS: No, no need for thanks: I much prefer cold, hard cash.


  • AZR says:

    The ending sucks because it is stupid. The reavers have to kill all organic life to preserve it from synthetic life? Huh? Wha?

    Also, the ending sucks because the last level sucks. It plays like every other level you play throughout the game. Which makes it a ‘Meh’ when you actually beat it.

    I mean, you beam up to the citadel and find yourself in the slaughterhouse and you dont even fight the butcher. It’s a big letdown gameplay wise, and then they hit you with a very bad ending (in that ‘the reapers have to kill all life to preserve it’ is very just dumb).

    Bioware needs to add an actual ending level.

  • Dan Irving says:

    /Agree with AZR.

    The green ending of ME3 was a boatload of ‘meh’. I get what Gabe of PA is pointing at when he says that the entire game is basically the ending but still – the pinnacle of that ending, the apex of Act III should be a bit …. well … more. It’s even more galling for me because I had hoarded a lot of credits (at one point I had over 300K) and spend them just before retaking earth. I’m going to be much more liberal my next play through.

  • Liber Ex Machina says:

    Jumping on the ME3 ending hate train here…

    I’m still a little baffled at what happened in the ending, there. Creepy blue holo-kid quickly yammering on about three different solutions to the whole “well, you caught onto our use organics to build synthetic Reapers to stop organics going extinct from synthetics going all genocidal so we can’t do that anymore” problem. Then, since you were too busy trying to understand the logic behind that, you have to choose which one you want based on fuzzy (and downright false; how exactly is the “control all synthetics” option the paragon one?) visual cues. Then you watch Joker crash onto a distant planet and somehow is ABLE to walk away from it, despite his super-osteoporosis. And Javik is there, despite him being one of the dudes you picked for your final pairing. WHA?

    I kinda hope they bull a Portal and retcon the ending to make that whole sequence an indoctrination-based dream. At least then all insanity (plus the other dumb dream sequences and that kid stuff from the intro level) would make some sense.


    Though I would also approve of Moe’s DAO, ME, Lovecraft mashup proposal.

    • Moe_Lane says:

      It’s weird: I had no problems with the ending. Depressing as all hell, but then it was my choice to put Shepard on her path in the first place.

  • PubliusNV says:

    I chose the green ending merely because I didn’t want my favorite synthetic character to die. Felt like Bioware was pushing for that ending. But based on the whole series, and the supposed rationale for what the Catalyst and the Reapers did, why should I believe anything that mass murdering genocidal AI SOB says? If I ever play it through again I’m going to go red.

  • PubliusNV says:

    Meanwhile, I like your mash-up. I had really really wanted to see Morrigan in DA2, I love Claudia Black’s voice work.

  • Liber Ex Machina says:

    To be fair, I would have a lot less to complain about it they threw up the blue objective diamonds labeling each option. I walked up to the blue glowy option to figure out what it was and found out that, by getting close enough to read the “hit A” prompt, I have locked myself into that choice. So, not only do I get 3 lousy final choices, but poor design robbed me of making that choice thoughtfully.
    Or if they would let me get all the achievements playing the game BioWare meant for it to be played: single player only(Corporate EA gave the finger to X-box silver members with that “100% the MP zones” achievement. Not to mention the whole you need 8000 war pointz to get the “I brought lots of stuff for the final battle” achievement without the MP.).
    It has not even been 48 hours since I beat the game and I still kind of sound like a whiny little crackpot.
    Back to the original pitch, Man, think of the Force power/ biotics combos. Biotic charge + Force speed from opposite directions. Singularity + Light Sabre Throw makes a spinning zone of death. Force Lightning Ammo (finally, a way for biotics to take down shields)! Does the vast right wing conspiracy have contact with BioWare? We need to make this happen.

  • Liber Ex Machina says:

    To Rick Perry: If you make this happen, I will at least think about forgiving you for handing over the rights of the state legislature to regulate tuition rate increases to unelected boards of regents just so UT would stop nagging you every time they wanted a couple extra million dollars a semester to fund another dumb diversity office. We both know that was the cowards way out of that situation and that letting a student sit at the board as a non-voting member does nothing. You may even see me stop saying that the only vote I regretted was the one time I voted for you (after having to fight with the head of college republicans for half an hour because he was running my polling place and did not believe that my half of my dorm was the only part on campus that was in that precinct).
    Your move, Rick.

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