I hope to God that this got started because somebody bet somebody else that they could get this concept all the way through to production.
It’s the bloated soccer ball that really puts the cap on this particular exercise in the death of individual dignity. If they used a football or something then you could make the case that playing in this sport was not a tacit condemnation of your poor life choices to date; but the size of the ball tells you The point of the exercise is to film you writhing on the ground in agony from being tazed several times, sir. The resulting ‘temporary’ neural damage thus means that we need to provide you a ball that your palsied, shaking arms can hope to hold on to – although, honestly? If we thought that we could just get away with simply having people run at and taze each other we wouldn’t even have bothered with the ball. Apparently, however, even entertainment lawyers have things that they balk at…
Well. Perhaps words didn’t fail me, after all.