Mar
21
2012

Ten things I want from the eventual GOP nominee.

This is a pretty straightforward list: and, unfortunately, a necessary one given the somewhat… lacking… performance of John McCain and his major staffers in the last race.  So feel free to blame it on them.

Also, please note that if you’re the sort of person who is already anticipating the loss of our candidate in November  then you’re almost certainly not going to like this list.  I suggest that you avoid reading it, in order to avoid giving yourself pain.  In fact, I suggest that you go offline and stay at home until after the November elections – and yes, that advice is also directed at the people gloomily anticipating the loss.  Frankly, until your attitude improves it’s the best thing that you can do for the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy; besides, it’s not like we’re factoring in your help at this point anyway.

But enough unpleasantness. On to the list!

Ten things I want from the eventual GOP nominee.

  1. I want to wake up every morning and see that the New York Times is whining and moaning about the latest outrageous outrage that our outrageously outrageous nominee has said, done, and/or intimated.
  2. I want said outrage to be a different one, every single day.  The American liberal establishment is amazingly easy to offend, and it is almost criminal not to take advantage of that.
  3. I want the Obama administration in a position where they have to feel that they have to win the message cycle every single day.
  4. I want to see every stupid thing that the Obama administration has said and done for the last three years – and that list is Legion – in a campaign commercial somewhere.  Half of that stuff doesn’t even need commentary.
  5. I want the media held to its own standards for civility and reasoned discourse.
  6. I want, therefore, every media interaction made by the candidate treated as if he was in hostile territory, which means that I want the candidate prepared to point out the personal hypocrisy of a would-be media scold.
  7. I want the candidate to stand by the implications of his Vice Presidential choice.  If he picks a street brawler, let him or her be a street brawler.
  8. I WANT TO SEE JOE BIDEN WHIMPER LIKE A KICKED PUPPY AT THE END OF THE FIRST (AND SUDDENLY LAST)[*] VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE. And I want to see the media get really upset about that, too.
  9. I want the candidate to like, respect, and give good consideration to the counsel of his campaign advisers… and never, ever, ever trust them.  A related thought: when the first media leak occurs, fire and blacklist people.  That’ll teach ‘em quick to police (read: ‘rat out’) each other.
  10. I want – and this is the Ur-requirement – I want the candidate to fight like he means it.  I can live with a primary motivation based on cynical ambition and I don’t want a ‘win at any cost’ candidate – but if the last three years have taught us anything it’s that you cannot trust the Democrats to run the country right now without them mucking the whole thing up.  I want a candidate who knows this, in his muscle memory.

That’s it.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

[* I misremembered: historically there’s been only one VP debate per cycle. My bad and thanks to commenter naraht at RS for pointing that out. – ML]

16 Comments

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  • DaveP. says:

    Seeing as how we’re gonna be stuck with Mittens- and seeing as how his advisors are already talking up how he’s gonna run to the Left as fast as his little legs can carry him- good luck with that stuff, Moe.

    • Moe_Lane says:

      I don’t care at this point if Romney or anybody else runs from the left, right, center or beyond Pluto. I care if he *fights*. Zeeba the Syphilitic Camel would be an improvement on Obama.

  • Rob Crawford says:

    What you’re going to get is a lot of mealy-mouthed mush, a campaign in constant reaction mode, the destruction of a good person who gets chosen as Veep, and lots of back-stabbing by “professionals”.

  • Dan Irving says:

    ~Zeeba/FSM 2012~

  • Catseye says:

    If Romney is Dumb enough to “reset” his positions after winning the primary he’s going to watch as the little support he has among the Right disappears. If no one wants to re-elect O’Bama, why would they vote for an O’Bama lite?

  • DaveP. says:

    Catseye, from the very beginning of the primaries Mittens’ position has been that if he’s the nominee the party will “have” to vote for him or see four more years of Obama. He’s actually said as much. This is essentially the same strategy that John McCain trotted out in ’08.
    Moe, like I said: good luck with that.

  • Brad S says:

    “9.I want the candidate to like, respect, and give good consideration to the counsel of his campaign advisers… and never, ever, ever trust them. A related thought: when the first media leak occurs, fire and blacklist people. That’ll teach ‘em quick to police (read: ‘rat out’) each other.”

    Somebody is learning something from Sarah Palin’s, uh, EXPERIENCES regarding this matter.

  • Skip says:

    Have to agree with the others, Romney’s going to do basically none of these. The odds of his campaign being able to get inside the Obama campaign’s OODA loop is zero. In order to do that you have to have firm, deeply nested principles that let you make decisions and react quickly. When your only principle is ‘what do I need to be to try and get elected today?’ it’s just not going to happen. As for the other parts, why would Romney do any of that? He’ll keep to only causing outrage on purpose to those he sees as his opponents, the conservative base.

    • Moe_Lane says:

      Gentlemen: while I’m sure that it’s pleasant to take the position that there’s the GOP over here, and then there’s you all the way over there… the truth of the matter is that we’re all bozos on this bus. And if you don’t think the right people are listening to you, MAKE THEM. If I can do it, anybody can. :)

  • ECM says:

    History virtually ensures Obama is doomed and I think Romney et al know this. So he’ll ignore the right-of-center to cater to the ‘midle’ (which is actually a media construct that is about 15-20% to the left of what would be the middle in objective reality), will win, and then will basically play the weathervane he’s played his entire political career saddling us w/ the following:

    1. Safe* moves economically.
    2. Safe* moves socially.
    3. Supreme Court picks that will go ‘rogue’ after he leaves office.
    4. Etc.

    Cynical? Yep. But after looking at Romney’s history (again: as being w/e needs to be to get votes and support), who wouldn’t be? I, for one, am not so foolish to think that this is one leopard that will *ever* change his spots, but I’d love to be proved wrong!

    *Safe defined as whatever the polling at that precise moment in time says.

  • DaveP. says:

    +2 points to Skip for referencing John Boyd.

  • Murgatroyd says:

    Let me add two more; they’re major amplifications of #6 that deserve separate callouts:

    * The nominee has to stand up to Our Betters in the media when the presidential debates are being set up — he has to emphatically reject every proposed “moderator” who has a Democratic Party bias. This means no George Stephanopoulos, Tom Brokaw, or Gwen Ifill. This means no Brian Williams, Katie Couric, or Jim Lehrer. This means no Barbara Walters, Bob Schieffer, or (Κύριε ἐλέησον!) Soledad O’Brien. And this means no other talking heads from PBS, NPR, or MSNBC, too. If the Debate Commission balks at this, go public with examples of their bias. And don’t cave! The candidate should flatly refuse to participate unless the biased moderators are thrown out, or unless as many equally biased anti-Obama moderators are included.

    * Any and all interactions with the media must be recorded in their entirety by the candidate’s staff, with full rights to go public (perhaps after a 72-hour delay if the networks want to make some money off their interviews with the candidate). No more dirty tricks with selectively edited, Dowdified interviews.

  • […] that Smitty is some sort of bespoke fisking machine.Unfortunately, Moe Lane won’t get any of what he wants in a Presidential nominee.If you think $4 gas is bad, just you wait. The President, you see, has a plan.Happy Second […]

  • lourae says:

    Last recommendation an excellent one. A wise man once said: “The media hates you and wants you to die in a fire.”

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