Today is Cinco De Mayo…

…and to all the Mexican-Americans out there who are watching in ever-increasing horrified bemusement at the way that a relatively unremarkable Mexican holiday is rapidly turning into a bizarre Anglo celebration of tequila-driven overindulgence… let me say this, as a mostly purebred Irish-American: welcome to assimilation, muchachos. Here’s your accordion*.


Look, this is what they’ve turned St. Patrick’s Day into, OK?

You folks are getting off easy.

Moe Lane

*Yes, yes, I know: Tejano music.  I was making a Far Side reference.

7 thoughts on “Today is Cinco De Mayo…”

  1. Are you saying America is like the Borg? Resistance is futile, you will be assimilatef and you diversity turned into easily marketed cliches.

    I do feel sorry for you, only one day. At least us Germans have a few weeks of excused drunkeness every September/October.

  2. As I think about it, I’m surprised I haven’t seen my Dutch heritage turned into a day of recreational pot use somewhere. The Hash Bash up in Ann Arbor, MI has no Dutch tie-in at all. Maybe the country needs an Amsterdam Day of Absinthe and deviant sex….maybe not.

  3. Hey JeffV:

    There will be no tulips left for Tulip Time this year over in Holland MI. Maybe they should use your ideas instead.

  4. (I thought about mentioning tulip time, but that doesn’t really count as an assimilation holiday, since its mostly run by actual Dutch-Americans)

  5. Most people have no idea how St. Patrick’s Day started. It used to be a militant parade of Irish in the US, showing the number of Irish that could be talked into rioting if the nativist Americans didn’t stop discriminating against them.

    Think of a violent version of the recent “We are not Illegal!” marches. In fact, they were pretty much exactly what the Illegal march organizers wanted their marches to be. They were a public show of power and solidarity of an oppressed minority. It’s actually a mark of how well that the Irish assimilated that it’s now a “let’s all drink green beer because everyone’s Irish” holiday.

    As a person who is half Italian (the other half is recently arrived Scottish) I am sure glad that the Italians didn’t end up with a holiday.

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