Oct
15
2012

I can live with urban coyotes.

Urban coyotes are smart enough to go Coyotes?  I dunno what you mean by ‘coyotes,’ dude.  We’re all stray dogs, here.  No, seriously, we’re dogs.  Listen to this: “Woof.  Woof.” That’s some prime barking there, precisely the kind of barking that you would expect from a stray dog WHICH IS WHAT WE ALL ARE.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see some garbage over there to eat.  Which is what stray dogs do: eat garbage.  I mean, which is what we stray dogs do.

“Woof.  Woof.”

…See what I mean?  If the coyotes can figure out how to hide in the cities – something that the raccoon would do, except that the raccoons see no reason to move out of the suburbs, seeing as the schools are better and there’s a less crushing tax burden – then I’m not really going to freak out about it too much.  But bears are RIGHT OUT.  If they start showing up downtown, SHOOT THE BEARS.

And I like bears.

Via Instapundit.

12 Comments

  • Darin H says:

    FYI Moe, comments run too far to the right (formatting wise at least) and hide partly on Firefox – both on mobile FF and the desktop version.

  • Cameron says:

    As someone who volunteered at a zoo, I can assure you that Coyotes are frigging EVIL. Shoot them and stack the bodies on top of the bears if they get it in their heads to start being a nuisance.

  • Luke says:

    The animal rights whackjobs who claim humans are the only animals who kill for fun, have evidently never met a coyote.
    (Or a housecat, for that matter.)

  • Darin H says:

    Comments look fixed to me, well done webperson!

  • azr says:

    Spoken like someone with no experience with coyotes. They all should be shot. They eat dogs.

  • Wombat-socho says:

    If we’re going to start tackling bears in the city, we’re going to need lots of guns. Big guns. The 9mm and .22 caliber Saturday Night Specials are just going to piss Mr. Bear off.

  • Catseye says:

    The wild is closer to the front door than most people realize. I’ve seen raccoons on my deck, my youngest stepped out the front door and met a skunk, the dog brought a oppossum up on the deck a couple weeks ago, I’ve seen deer at the end of the street. I’ve run into a bobcat a mile from my house and a Lynx 5 miles from my house. Lynx prey on medium sized game animals and humans are medium sized game animals. What worries me are the feral pigs I don’t want to have to put on a gun to walk the kid to the bus stop.

  • Spegen says:

    You know that the Obama admin is making me think its is the 70s all over again that when I first read the headline I thought Moe said “urban Cowboys” and thought: not this again too.

  • acat says:

    Hmmm. Perhaps the other definition of coyote .. as in human trafficking… smuggling people out of the rotting urban cores…
    .
    Mew
    .
    .
    .
    (think the “welfare islands” of Dr. Pournelle’s CoDominion series)

  • Finrod says:

    My brain keeps flashing back to the very first episode of Showtime’s show Weeds (which I ended up stopping watching after a season or two), with the kids watching a nature program, and coming to the conclusion: “You can’t miss the bear!”

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