King of North Korea executes rebellious baron… via mortar round.

The official charge was for insolence shown towards the Dynasty, but it was clearly a measure designed to put the King’s vassals back under control of the central authority.  The method of execution was diagnostic (also somewhat… Byzantine):

Kim Chol, vice minister of the army, was taken into custody earlier this year on the orders of Kim Jong-un, who assumed the leadership after the death of his father in December.

On the orders of Kim Jong-un to leave “no trace of him behind, down to his hair,” according to South Korean media, Kim Chol was forced to stand on a spot that had been zeroed in for a mortar round and “obliterated.”

Note that I had to translate the titles: North Korea until quite recently was under a form of government known as Communism, which was quite popular in the last century despite the fact that it apparently makes its adherents abjectly stupid – and murderous, when possible.  Its ongoing evolution to hereditary monarchy is, of course, an improvement, but you have to expect a certain amount of barbarism in the process (it is uncertain whether this judicial murder was ordered by the King himself, or his uncle the Grand Vizier).  I would suggest that the remaining members of the North Korean baronages would find it well-advised to create some sort of united front to establish their rights and prerogatives; after all, as it currently stands King Jong-un can simply kill them off one by one.  If the barons need some ideas, this might prove to be a useful primer: I’m sure that somebody can translate it into Korean for them.


Moe Lane

PS: Once they get the King to agree to terms, I further suggest that the barons work with him to establish a permanent institution by which the North Korean monarchy and aristocracy can communicate and/or negotiate with each other.  Something like their current ‘Party Congress,’ only with actual teeth…

6 thoughts on “King of North Korea executes rebellious baron… via mortar round.”

  1. North Korea is quite clearly a feudal state, to anyone who has eyes that is.
    My gay communist associate has been bugging me to watch some North Korean anime. It’s .. bizarre.

  2. yeah, the Byzantines would have cut out his tongue, put out his eyes, castrated him, and then shipped him off to a monastery on some Greek island.

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