Um. Brookline residents? Wild turkeys are edible.

I submit that remembering this detail may be wise.

Neighbors are on the offensive in Brookline after what some residents are describing as aggressive turkeys.

“They were attacking the vehicle,” Karen Halvorson said outside her home in the Aspinwall Hill neighborhood.

After getting in her truck, a neighbor came and ran the birds off but it didn’t stop there.

“Then, the turkeys came and started attacking my front door,” she said.

Wild turkeys also aren’t dumb. Roast a couple and the rest will get the hint. And if you’re worried about guns… well. Recurve bows are legal in Massachusetts; more to the point, they’re a lot quieter than a gun is.  Not that I’m suggesting that anybody go out at midnight and take out a few of the more stroppy birds with a bow.  Or get a pickup truck with a camper shell, take some bread, toss it in the back, drive to where the turkeys are. open up the back gate, wait for the turkeys to climb into the truck, close the back gate, then drive somewhere quiet to shoot the turkeys with an air rifle*.

I’m not suggesting any of that at all.  I’m suggesting that MA change the laws so that you can shoot the damn things.

Moe Lane


*This also works with Canada geese.  Or so I have been told.

6 thoughts on “Um. Brookline residents? Wild turkeys are edible.”

  1. When I lived in Marin County, California (just north of the Golden Gate Bridge, so imagine the politics…) some years ago, the residents were all dead set against hunting…. until the turkeys invaded the towns and started attacking their reflections in the finish of Mercedes’ and BMW’s and Volvos etc.

  2. Feed the homeless to the wild turkeys, err…. I mean feed the turkeys to the homeless.
    I know what you mean about the geese. The counter measures to keep them out of the yard or they will poo everywhere.
    Wild animals should stay where they belong- in the zoo

  3. Was it “as if they were organized”?

    — if anyone get’s this, I thought it up before Moe’s latest post 🙂

Comments are closed.