No, I’m not going to pretend that I don’t have ‘em: I write for a major conservative weblog and I am a gleefully-annoying, startlingly-relevant, revolving son-of-a-bitch on wheels on my own hook. False modesty is nice, but counter-productive in this case.
Anyway… those lurkers/trackers have a problem. It’s the day before the New Year, and this year’s Amazon take is noticeably below par for the Christmas season. While this may not be exactly surprising, given that retail sales this Christmas sucked, that will not really help the Left when I start writing needle-vicious posts about how genuinely awful Barack Obama is at generating retail sales* – to say nothing of the rest of the Democratic party, of course. It’ll be fun… but, alas for me: if it turns out that I generated more referral fees this December after all then there’s not that all-important personal anecdotal evidence that the best pundits use to justify their partisan wrangling.
So. Here you go, ye lurkers and personal trackers: Amazon.com. The Cause DEMANDS that you let loose your inner faux-Keynes and spend some of your personal cash in a fashion that profits me. If you don’t, then whatever happens next is your fault and your responsibility. Sp start that spending! – And, remember, this is what happens when you self-objectify yourself; you end up getting used by people with actual self-respect. Weird how that works out, huh?
PS: No, I have no intention of telling you what your target number is. Best to spend as much as possible, yesno?
*Or, indeed, at anything besides getting Barack Obama re-elected dirty.