I won’t spoil the surprise. But, remember: what’s below is the relatively tame part of the article.
In a less shocking find, investigators also discovered plastic baggies containing methamphetamine lodged in the crack of Harris’s buttocks.
PS: …Look, it’s a slow news day today, all right?
PPS: …OK, sorry, yeah, that’s no excuse.
PPPS: No, the post stays up. It’s STILL a slow news day today.
PPPPS: Hugo Chavez is still dead.