Simple question, DC folks: do you WANT wolves in Rock Creek Park? Right THERE?

Seriously, if you are a DC suburban resident: do you want a pack of wolves to move in next door? Right next to your pets? Digging into your garbage for all that rotten meat that you threw away?  Howling at night?


Well, here’s the thing:

Biologists generally recommend that area should have no more than 20 deer per square mile. [Rock Creek Park], according to official estimates, has about 70.

Which means that, until someone comes up with a reliable way to make deer suicidal, something’s got to kill the goram things.  We can shoot them, we can let them wreck the (artificial, by definition) ecology of the park and then starve to death, or we can hope that enough of them decide to wander in front of a local resident’s car during mating season.  Shooting the deer sounds like the best option here, folks.

Moe Lane

PS: See, this is why serious hunters generally don’t take suburban Greenies seriously, despite the apparent overlap in goals. Life ain’t a Disney movie; heck, I libel Disney movies by suggesting that they form the basis for the Greenie worldview…

24 thoughts on “Simple question, DC folks: do you WANT wolves in Rock Creek Park? Right THERE?”

  1. Hmm. Looking at the area on satellite, I’m not sure I’d want the general public hunting in there (and it’s doubtful it would be allowed with the proximity to the USNO). Trapping them would probably be a better option. But yes, once they’re trapped, they should be harvested and eaten. Just get butchers to volunteer their time and give the meat to various food pantries.

    1. …Which is what they’re doing! They’re culling the herd and handing off the meat to “a charity that feeds the hungry.” And, believe me: it is no insult to feed the hungry venison stew.

      1. Ah, guess I should have read the linked article.

        There is one other way to clean out the deer, introduce feral hogs. They’ll cut down on the deer population quickly as well.

        1. We’ve got a real problem with feral hogs in New Mexico. Maybe we could just send them to Maryland. It’ll solve both problems.

    2. yes, could you imagine a stray round in DC! but don’t worry, maybe the park service gave as much thought to this issue as you obviously have. Also, “trapping deer”???????? uh, it has not caught on so much, and there is a reason.

      I have an idea, let the people who have been culling herds for years in VA,MD, and other states figure a plan for DC.

      If these people really wanted to do it right, they would tell the bloody press it is one day, and then just do the bloody thing a few weeks ahead of time, and ignore the court crap. just my humble opinion.

    3. It’s probably not obvious from satellite, but much of Rock Creek Park is well below street (and residential) level. You’ll notice there aren’t many roads which cross RCP despite the apparent inconvenience of splitting DC into two. That’s because some of those crossings are non-trivial bridges, e.g. the Calvert Street bridge is 130 feet above RCP (though that’s probably the highest bridge). I’d think the biggest worry is people wandering around RCP for various recreational uses, its easy enough to block automobiles from entering the Rock Creek Parkway (its partially done twice every weekday; during the morning and evening rush the parkway is made one way to improve commute flow)

  2. Last time I was in DC, I went for a run that took me by Joe Biden’s place, the one with the super-secret bunker in the basement. I had to leap over a deer that had been piléed by a vehicle, lying right there on the sidewalk. I guess the animal rights folks are OK with that.

    On a related note, I had an aunt who was killed by a deer. She was driving at night when an oncoming vehicle hit the deer and threw it through her windshield.

    I think more people are killed in deer encounters than any species except dogs.

  3. This is the nation that defeated NAZI Germany and Imperial Japan? Ok, so really it is only a tired fascimile, but still!

    Hey Moe, did you read the earlier article on this subject? They interviewed a local resident who said she would be so disturbed by simply knowing deer in Rock Creek were shot, she would have to move away. She was suffering from the rare “pre” post traumatic stress disorder.

    Why are people such *ussies! Ok, censors be damned, I will say it, “Wussies”. 🙂

  4. The shooting issue is relatively easy. Around where I live the state uses archers. What I don’t understand is why the emphasis on giving the meat to the hungry. Auction the meat and give the money to the hungry, or to the myriad organizations that feed the hungry, have low overheads, and can always use more resources.

  5. We live near a reservoir watershed that has a large deer population. The County allows a bow-hunting season each year, which seems to work fairly well. No firearms are allowed in the watershed because of proximity to residential areas. I have heard of birth control for deer via salt licks, but that may be still in research&developmental phase rather than a current option. This is a topic of interest in our area because the deer are very destructive of neighborhood shrubbery, flowers, gardens, and of course they are a menace on the roads, especially after dark.

  6. Well, I think that a pack of wolves ought to be placed in Rock Creek Park (I assume this is a park inside Washington DC?). One wolf cannot function well; you need a PACK. And they must be healthy enough to reproduce, too. Hence, Bambi. And nearby pets, too.

    Why do I wish this curse upon the good people of Washington DC? Well, the Sierra Club and World Wildlife folks are financed and peopled by urbanites from your neck of the woods. And they have had lots to say about Alaska and Yukon killing anything, but especially wolves (those noble creatures). If you have children, you might hesitate to send them to school, if they have to walk through any wooded area, what with the pack hiding there. If you are ‘urban’ enough, you think, you really think, that only the noble can relate to the wolf. That wolves NEVER EVER kill and eat humans. That wolves live lightly upon the earth, unlike Red State people.

    I just read (in a book about dogs), that in Denali National Park, most of the wolves that are killed, are killed by fellow wolf (packs). So, you will need at least 2 packs to get started. Just think of the entertainment value, sort of Hunger Games, but with wolf packs.. and Bambi… on TV!

  7. Seeing as how the politicians and bureaucrats in DC forced wolves upon us, I’m more than happy to repay the favor.
    Enjoy the bloodthirsty evil beasties. May they eat the livers of many government officials.
    (And maybe actual exposure will kill some of the stupid mythologizing the dagum urbanites do about these vicious creatures.)

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