Mind you, that’s only if you’re a Bad Person.
I hope that whoever wrote this paused a moment afterward, to mark the occasion. You don’t get a lede like this every day.
A Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop helped a neighbor woman escape a Tuesday morning attack by a man who had been stalking her.
The bishop chased off the perp, who later turned himself in. Because, well, he had a clergyman with a Samurai sword telling him, “I’ve got your DNA and I’ve got your license plate: You are so done.” You don’t have very many viable life options at that point.
PS: It’s still safe to tell the missionaries that no, you’re not interested in converting. Although the Mormons might want to consider the possibilities in opening up a LDS-affiliated martial arts school.
PPS: It’s a katana, Fox News. You can use the freaking name, all right?