Aug
08
2013

Senator Brian Schatz (D, Hawaii): did you have carnal relations with that sheep?

“…most distasteful in view of the fact that the sheep was under 18 years old.”

No, I never thought that I’d have the opportunity to write that out, either.  But apparently this is the world that we live in, now:

Hawaii senator Brian Schatz involved in simulated sheep rape rituals

U.S. Senator Brian Schatz once led a fraternity that got into trouble with the law and animal welfare groups for threatening to sodomize a sheep.

One of the fraternity brothers involved in the incident claimed at the time that no actual sheep were sodomized in said ritual; and in truth I will be willing enough to accept a denial on Senator Brian Schatz’s (D, Hawaii) part. An explicit denial. As in, While I admit that there was in fact an official investigation along these lines, I have in fact never in my life [expletive deleted]ed a sheep.

And then we can all put this unfortunate incident behind us.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

PS: As near as I can tell: yes, Senator Brian Schatz (D, Hawaii) would have participated in a ritual where he would have had to decide whether joining his fraternity was worth [expletive deleted]ing a sheep.

PPS I’m sorry! This HAPPPENED! I can’t not write about this! I’m only flesh and blood!

PPPS: The subtitle, of course, is a classical reference.

11 Comments

  • Crawford says:

    “Edmund, do you have a woman in there?”
    “No, mother”
    “A man then?”
    “No, no”
    “It isn’t a sheep is it?”
    Maa-maa.
    “Oh Edmund, its the lying that hurts.”

  • Jeff Weimer says:

    The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules, or took a few liberties with our ovine party guests – we did. *wink*

  • MichaelN21209 says:

    Moe, you’re channeling LBJ. You know that, right? Don’t take it any further, and we’ll be fine.

    Don’t make me get the holy water. You remember how that worked out last time.

  • Catseyes says:

    I thought the in thing was doing it with Donkeys.

  • midwestconservative says:

    Democrat #WarOnSheep

  • HungarianFalcon says:

    I agree, I never thought you’d have the opportunity to write that either. My money was on Barney Frank.

    HF

  • Herp McDerp says:

    Dr. Bernardo: Does it sound mad? That’s what they called me at Masters’ and Johnson’s Clinic, mad! Because I had visions of explorations in sexual areas undreamed of by lesser human beings. […] I was the first one to explain the connection between excessive masturbation and entering politics.
     
    Ahem.

  • Buffalobob says:

    Well why the outrage, it’s not like he used the sheep for a humidor.

  • […] Senator Brian Schatz (D, Hawaii): did you have carnal relations with that sheep? “…most distasteful in view of the fact that the sheep was under 18 years old.” No, I never thought that I’d have the opportunity to write that out, either. But apparently this is the world that we live in, now […]

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