I know I should be upset about Chinese attempts to meddle in Hawaii…

…but I am too busy being entertained at the charming naivete of ‘Hawaiian independence advocates.’  They are apparently all blissfully unaware that the only reason that they are not instead ‘seditious secessionists’ and currently spending long prison terms on the mainland is because the US government has rightfully calculated that arresting and convicting them for that isn’t worth the PR hassle.  Or even really justifiable; based on what I saw in Hawaii, the Hawaiian independence movement mostly exists to man extraordinarily truculent and aggrieved roadside stands for haole tourists.

You may safely assume that we will not be giving up Pearl any time soon, in other words.  Also: we will give Taiwan what we will give Taiwan, Chinese inferiority complex over their amour propre nonwithstanding.

Moe Lane

PS: Yes, yes, I’m sure that Barack Obama cannot wait to give back Hawaii to the secessionists, not to mention destroy our ability to project power in the Pacific.  Just as soon as he gets his marching orders from the People’s Republic of Luna Soviet-in-Exile and finalizes a deal with the Hollow Earth, no doubt.  Seriously, guys: nobody in the Democratic party wants Barack Obama to be the last Democratic President, which is precisely what would happen if we gave up Pearl. It’s fun to ascribe horrible motivations to this President, not least because he seems determined to live down to them; but there are limits.


  • JAB says:

    China threatened to arm Hawaiian nationalists in response to us sending military aid to Taiwan? Really?

    That’s special. Somehow, I don’t see an armed revolt gaining much traction, either on the islands or in mainland US.

    • Erin Palette says:

      For some odd reason, I am reminded of Sergeant Farrell’s words from 28 Days Later:
      “Think! Just think! What would you do with a diseased little island?”

  • nicklevi86 says:

    I’m curious where you think these limits seem to exist. Every time *I* think we’ve hit rock bottom, he breaks out another diamond-tip excavation of disaster. The light at the end of this particular tunnel may very well be soft, luminescent glow of the Earth’s core. The other side of which, incidentally and according to legend, lies China of all places.

    • Mikey NTH says:

      I think the limit would lie about where Chuck Schumer leads the charge to tackle Obama to the ground and get him into the canvas blazer with the wrap-around sleeves before His Petulance does any further damage to the Democrat Party.

      (N.B.: The federal Union does not have an “opt out” clause. That was settled 150 years ago. Once a state is in it is in.)

  • Mikey NTH says:

    I noticed that the article did not mention how many members the independence movement has, which tells me it falls somewhere between “not many” and “these other guys at the bar.”

  • jetty says:

    If Obama did somehow manage to give up Hawaii, I’m sure that ABC/CBS/NBC/CNN would dutifully report what a great thing that was. Or at least report something bad about Chris Christie.

  • Herp McDerp says:

    It’s fun to ascribe horrible motivations to this President, not least because he seems determined to live down to them; but there are limits.
    Are you taking bets?
    I expect all sorts of mischief and mayhem between now and January 20, 2017. That might even include violent action by some sort of Hawai’i Liberation Front. Until he’s out of office — even and especially after the November 2016 election — President Obama will have absolute power to pardon. After the pardons by Holder and Clinton in 2001 (Unrepentant homicidal Puerto Rican separatists? Really?!) I wouldn’t put anything past this gang.

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