May
11
2015

This year, Californian celebrity water-wasters are just barely funny.

water wasters

If there’s a drought next year, some of these estates may get rocks thrown at them.

Experts predict California reservoirs have less than a year’s worth of drinking water left. An emergency law passed last week forces local cities to conserve water immediately. The Las Virgenes Municipal Water District, which supplies many of these elite enclaves north of Los Angeles, will have four weeks starting next month to cut water use by a staggering 36 percent. But the mandate is toothless, with the maximum fine a paltry $100.

“We’re right up there with Beverly Hills,” said one official who estimates 70 percent of the district’s water is going to the lawn maintenance of about 100 manicured estates. “And that means we have to get the A-listers on the bus.”

If there’s still a drought in 2018, some of these estates will come down with sudden bouts of arson.  And if there’s one in 2019, the new governor will blink a few times and say Sorry, we missed that completely.  Arson, you say? What a shame. What a shame

Note that I do not endorse arson. It is wicked to burn things down, not least because you have no way of guaranteeing that you’re not also burning alive a human being in the process (which is murder, and it is very wicked to murder people). But it’s like nobody in Hollywood has ever cracked a history boo… Oh. Right. Of course.

Moe Lane

PS: I suspect that the California legislature may feel compelled to raise the fines on water wasting soon.  Either these legislators, or their replacements after the next election…

 

2 Comments

  • Greg says:

    Not to be glib here, but is there some other kind of city that this article could be talking about besides a “local cit[ies]”? What, were they concerned that their readers may think that the law refers to only those cities in … West Virginia?

    Greg

  • Spegen says:

    Ah, the dystopian future of water shortages and Water Wars. A classic, with a twist as it was caused by the greenies themselves

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