Aug
13
2015

Pennsylvania AG Kathleen Kane (D) claims that a conspiracy is behind her recent indictments.

Alternate title: Kathleen crazies a Kane.

That was a fascinating press conference that embattled Democratic Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane had there, yesterday.

You see, everybody who showed up for this press conference thought, rather naively, that AG Kane would be addressing her being charged with “conspiracy, obstruction, oppression, perjury and false swearing” with regard to her involvement in the leak of a 2009 AG probe of a Philadelphia NAACP official. Instead, she decided to make a no-questions-taken, thirteen minute statement where a sitting state Attorney General repeatedly insisted that all of the allegations were due to a conspiracy against her designed to keep AG Kane from ferreting out the truth behind a nefarious, wicked, and NSFW email chain cabal. She then politely begged her children to stand by her and left the room without taking a question.

I AM NOT MAKING ANY OF THIS UP.

Did it work? Um, no. The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, visibly wincing over the conspiracy theorizing (and the way that Kane mixed up Slumdog Millionaire and The Boondock Saints) called it ‘a combative and at times highly unusual speech.’ A columnist at Philly.com is rather taken with the salacious angle, calling the whole thing “a political version of revenge porn, in an ongoing saga of seeming paranoia.” PA Politics noted that AG Kane “completely ignored the June 2014 Daily News story on Jerry Mondesire that began the inquiry into whether she leaked grand jury information by providing information for that article.” And if you watch to 5:35, you can hear the plaintive call of a heroic newsman, trying desperately to somehow deflect AG Kane from her quest to make this entire story about a secretive cabal of rampaging Evil Email Bigots, some of whom are still out there!!!!!

And now you know why just about everybody in the Pennsylvanian Democratic party is begging the woman to quit. But she won’t! …Which makes Pat Toomey smile, because he’s up for re-election next year and it’s never a bad thing to have the opposition party look like it’s holding final auditions for the clown show.

Moe Lane (crosspost)

12 Comments

  • Catseyes says:

    Oppression is a Crime? Does she own a plantation on the side? How does a person qualify for that charge, forcing underlings to work thru lunch?
    And an evil email chain cabal? It sounds like someone needs to be on some serious medication.
    What the heck is going on in that state?

    • acat says:

      A nasty side effect of entering a career track where “blood sport” is – literally – a common descriptor.
      .
      Some .. especially those from “protective bubble” backgrounds .. do not take the transition well.
      .
      Mew

  • zamoose says:

    Also: “Boondog Millionaire” would be an INCREDIBLY weird movie mashup.

  • Antoninus Pius says:

    this is why that acid you did in college was a bad idea. it’ll rise up and bite you at the most unexpected times. don’t do drugs. because now she can prove, with mathematical logic, that it was the strawberries.

  • BigGator5 says:

    School kids in the future will learn about this event in order to drill home the fact that you should never go full retard.

  • Robert Mitchell Jr. says:

    Is it “full retard? Drugs?” Democrats do conspiracy, all the time. See Hillary! for example. See the school lunch skimming Moe brought to our attention. I would say, rather, that this is why we used to come down so hard on conspiracies when we found them. Because they don’t just ruin innocent people, what they do to the guilty parties is even worse…….

    • Moe_Lane says:

      I should note, by the way, that r*tard is one of the words that the spam filter catches. I’m not mad – people are quoting a movie, not insulting each other – but if a comment gets delayed, that may be why: I have to manually pull it out of the spam filter.

  • mojo says:

    Wait, is it a VAST, RIGHT WING conspiracy?

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