The Suspenders of Shame have arrived in the mail.

I’m calling them that mostly because it makes my wife wince; it will come as no surprise to most of you that I am not a six-foot athlete built on the Apollo Greek god model.  I am, in fact, more or less a hobbit.  Got gut, not butt; so a belt just ain’t cutting it anymore.

So I look all of this up, and lo! – There is an entire subculture of men just like me.  If we were more trendy, we’d have activists and causes and candle vigils for our plight.  As it stands, though, we get: buy some suspenders and/or shirt stays.  …So it goes, so it goes.

Moe Lane

PS: I will be merciful, and omit pictures.

15 thoughts on “The Suspenders of Shame have arrived in the mail.”

  1. Suspenders are awesome especially when they make the pants ride 2-3″ above the top of the shoes.

        1. I joke, I jest. In any case, I’m speaking mainly of my experiences and an ACW reenactor with period-correct, inelastic linen suspenders. They’re rather less forgiving than modern elastic suspenders, in ways that I shall leave to your imagination.

        2. As a fashion-challenged engineer, anything that gets a person to break from fashion conformity is awesome.

  3. Did you ever consider that one has no butt because one is of the Irish heritage? My sister and I have discussed this at length and concluded: yes. On the other hand, it gives great bragging rights on rum running/bank robbing ancestors.

  6. BTW – My grandfather and his brother, both good 19th century Canadian farm boys, called those suspenders “braces”.

    Just want to point that out.*

    *The other two brothers I never met probably called them the same.

  8. I wear the Perry’s too. Was asked the other day why I wear suspenders and a belt, answered “because a 1911 is heavy”.

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