Let’s see how I do on this list of Top Twenty Books People Lie About Having Read.
- Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland – Lewis Carroll. Yes, I’ve read it. Read the sequel, too, which is much more accessible to geeks.
- 1984 – George Orwell. Yes, I’ve read it. I work in politics, and the Left loves to quote this book without understanding a damned thing about it.
- The Lord Of The Rings trilogy – JRR Tolkien. …Don’t vex me. Also, it’s not a trilogy.
- War And Peace – Leo Tolstoy. Nope!
- Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy. Nope! Got warned off on Russian novelists by Bob Heinlein.
- The Adventures Of Sherlock Holmes – Arthur Conan Doyle. Yes, I have read it. Good God, these were popular fiction pieces for the mass market! What is the excuse to not read them?
- To Kill A Mockingbird – Harper Lee. Let me put it this way: WHOEVER AUTHORIZED THAT SO-CALLED ‘SEQUEL’ MAY VERY WELL END UP BURNING IN HELL FOR THEIR SIN.
- David Copperfield – Charles Dickens. I think I started it, but never finished it.
- Crime And Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky. Nope! See $5.
- Pride And Prejudice – Jane Austen. “…And Zombies.” But I read the original.
- Bleak House – Charles Dickens. Nope!
- Harry Potter (series) – JK Rowling. Started the series, got to about Goblet of Fire(?), never finished it.
- Great Expectations – Charles Dickens. Nope!
- The Diary Of Anne Frank – Anne Frank. Yes, I’ve read it. Both the version that they let kids read, and the longer, even more depressing version.
- Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens. Nope! …I have read some Dickens, you know.
- Fifty Shades trilogy – EL James. Oh HELL no.
- And Then There Were None – Agatha Christie. I have read it. It’s not her best. It, in fact, relies too much on authorial fiat to make the climax work.
- The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald. Nope!
- Catch 22 – Joseph Heller. I have read it, although damned if I can remember why. I dimly remember that… there were sex scenes that appealed to my teen-aged self? Or something like that.
- The Catcher In The Rye – JD Salinger. I didn’t get assigned it in school, so Nope!
Eh. Nine out of twenty, with two partials. Not a great score. But note that I’m not lying about it. Do people really and truly care about that? I mean, if you didn’t read a book, you didn’t read a book…