The mundane details are all true, by the way.
The American Herd
Oh, this one is tricky, esoterically speaking.
It goes like this: there is an ethnic/linguistic group in Africa called the Maasai. They live more or less in Kenya, where they herd and maintain a semi-nomadic lifestyle. And, about a decade and a half ago, a certain attack in NYC prompted one tribe of the Maasai to gift the American people with some of their cattle. This is significant because one of the folk traditions of the Maasai is that they in fact were given all the cattle in the world by God; apparently the rest of us are simply taking care of the cows until a Maasai tribesman can come to collect them (yes, not unrelatedly: the Maasai are legendary cattle rustlers). So just giving the USA some of their cows is… ‘significant’ is not the word to use. Try ‘remarkable’ and ‘virtually unprecedented.’
In other words, you would not believe the thaumatological-theurgical ritual charge that these cattle could build up, in any universe at all where esotericism, supernaturalism, spiritualism, magic, or just plain Divine Will operates, and can affect the surroundings. It’s got it all: the free and voluntary gifting of items of maximum symbolic value, in response to a genuinely paradigm-shifting event, with a strong flavor of selfless sacrifice – in a manner pleasing to the Lord, no less. The cows are even branded in a manner that is explicitly self-referential, esoterically speaking. It’s a special miracle that these cows don’t pulse in low light.
So where are the cows now? Still in Kenya; the mundane and official explanation is that the US government couldn’t quite manage to take possession of the cows themselves, so instead they made arrangements for the tribe to take care of the cows. In more, ah, esoteric universes that arrangement is still going on, only it’s underpinned with at least a US Special Forces Group operating in full covert mode, and possibly a Navy rapid-response force from Camp Lemonnier. And worth every penny, too: if and when the American Herd gets large enough to be safely and sustainably managed, the output would be invaluable. Imagine what a properly trained civic alchemist or enchanter could do with the leather from a cow that was so securely arcanely bound to America. Or the meat, or the bones, or the milk. Oh, yes, preliminary tests on the milk alone promise future wonders…
Combine that with the voltage of a Joyful Child’s Icecream Cone, and you’ll be unstoppable! Ben and Jerry’s just became even more sinister….
The reason they’re really still in Africa is because the government doesn’t want the Texas ranchers who are trying to breed a sacrificial calf for the construction of a new Temple Jerusalem to get access to that herd.
Hmmm.
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Perhaps .. the cows are here, and the herd there is a decoy ..
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Perhaps the herd here has been .. misplaced ..
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Perhaps the party must retrieve the herd ..
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Perhaps the word “misplaced” should actually be “heisted” .. by someone who believes .. in game context, *truly* believes .. that sacred cows make the best hamburger .. and wishes to prove it.
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Mew