Item Seed: The New Zombie Cookbook: Simple Recipes For Busy Lives.

The New Zombie Cookbook: Simple Recipes For Busy Lives

Physical description: The New Zombie Cookbook is a 300 page book, profusely illustrated – very profusely illustrated – that offers a few chapters on ingredients (zombies), utensils (cleavers feature prominently), and, most importantly ,recipes. Needless to say, the author (Elizabeth Riley), publisher/editor (Vyhle Publishers, Pittsburgh), and illustrator/photographer (R.U. Pickman) are unknown to the American publishing industry – despite the fact that the book was supposedly written in 1982.

Fair warning: the pictures in The New Zombie Cookbook are not for the squeamish. It is, indeed, a cookbook that features zombies as the main course, as it were.  The photographs are from life – that’s a quote from some testimonial on the back cover – and they graphically show half-rotten human remains being cleaned, prepared, filleted, poached, steamed, fried, baked, broiled, blanched, sauteed, and in one particularly gorge-rising sequence, jellied.  The worst part is that the emotional undertones of the photos are not camp, satire, arch, sardonic, or ironic: it’s all shown very matter-of-factly, and the text is equally straightforward and without subtext.  This is self-evidently a cookbook for cooking zombie flesh. It’s not written as a joke at all.

All of which would not preclude it as being a hoax, of course, if it were not for the crate of freeze-dried human kidneys that was found with the book.  The CDC grabbed both of these items a week ago, and have been putting them under ever-increasing levels of security ever since.  It’s now so classified that your team has been chosen to sort all of this out!  How lucky for you.

2 thoughts on “Item Seed: The New Zombie Cookbook: Simple Recipes For Busy Lives.”

  1. That’s …
    .
    *bows, student to master*
    .
    So .. would having the lead researcher doing the team in-brief whine about how busy he is because of “a rash of illnesses” affecting his team .. and then fall over dead after the basic intro but before one or more key plot points gets discussed be .. (excessively) evil?
    .
    Mew

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