Month: June 2017

I suspect Bioware itself of originating the Mass Effect Andromeda DLC rumors.

Seems easy enough: first, set up a rumor from a shop purporting to be doing Mass Effect Andromeda DLC that there actually won’t be any story-based DLC (which everybody is largely assuming to be true, so why is it a rumor).  Then, let the rumor spread.  Finally, put out a response saying:

Boom! Instant buzz.  Or not.  I don’t care: if reporting this gets interest up in ME:A DLC, now that they’ve patched the animation bugs and everything, I will happily report away. I want to know what happened with the quarian Ark, dagnabbit.

Quote of the Day, You Can Maybe Relax About Spider-Man: Homecoming edition.

Currently at 92% on Rotten Tomatoes (read here for Wired’s declaration of kanly against Rotten Tomatoes, largely for its ability to generate phrases like that).  Anyway, the reviews are starting to come in, and this line is particularly good:

Marvel movies succeed because they’re not just superhero movies. Captain America: The Winter Soldier was a ’70s conspiracy thriller; Guardians of the Galaxy a space opera. Enter Spider-Man: Homecoming, a frothy and witty John Hughes high school comedy that just happens to feature a superhero or two.

Continue reading Quote of the Day, You Can Maybe Relax About Spider-Man: Homecoming edition.

Huh. Wesley Snipes is still making movies.

Wesley Snipes is also looking remarkably… unchanged… since 1998.

The movie is Armed Response, and it’s apparently a movie with crazy murderous AI and Anne Heche in it, so there may be hope for an amazing train wreck here.  Or, sure, an actually not-bad thriller.  Odds on it being the latter? Especially since it’s going to on-demand as well as movies on August 4th.  Look, I’m just the guy telling you the odds.

So they’re talking about remaking Blade.

…OK, let’s maybe do something else, here.  I have a strange proposal, here: why don’t they just re-release Blade in theaters?  Clean it up, digitize it, do whatever it is that the computer wizards do. Then brazenly announce that the old sequels never happened and then do entirely new sequels that start up the story where the first Blade left off.

Because let’s be honest: there’s no point in redoing Blade.  You’re not going to get a better movie than the original.  But you can get a better movie than the original sequels, so let’s go with that.

Moe Lane

PS: No, Wesley Snipes would not be playing Blade in the sequels.  Embrace that. Lampshade it.  So what? Give Wesley points in the re-release of the first one, and he’ll probably be just fine with that.

Creature Seed: Voodoo Remoras.

Voodoo Remoras – Google Docs

Voodoo Remoras

 

Naturally, these devices are neither the product of any sort of syncretic spirit-based religion, nor made up of actual scavenger fish. A Voodoo Remora isn’t even organic: it’s all raw galvanic fluid and platinum and gold aetheric current wiring and the rest of the old-style Mad Science aesthetic.  Just, you know, updated with 21st century manufacturing. Fortunately, most Mad Scientists can’t make the conceptual leap that lets them realize that, just because their science is steeped in pre-Einsteinian physics, their engineering and machining doesn’t have to be late Victorian-era as well.

Continue reading Creature Seed: Voodoo Remoras.

Whoa. This War Room WW II tabletop strategy game looks impressive.

I don’t play board games, but this looks like the business.

Continue reading Whoa. This War Room WW II tabletop strategy game looks impressive.

The… surprisingly complicated “My Little Pony: The Movie” trailer.

I mean. It’s got airships in it. And pirates. And… Pokemon? I’m not really sure, there.  But there are definitely oddities in this one. My kids aren’t addicted to My Little Pony; but if you have children who are then you might as well take a good, long look at this trailer, because you’re going to see this movie over and over and over and over again.

In the E-mail: @HPLHS’s “The Haunter of the Dark.”

Specifically, the Dark Adventure Radio Theater The Haunter of the Dark.  The actual CD goes out next week, but if you pre-ordered it, check your email.  They’re sending out links.

The Haunter of the Dark is HP Lovecraft’s last known story, one of his best stories, and also one of his most influential ones. Lots of people have taken no little inspiration from HPL’s Starry Wisdom cult and/or Shining Trapezohedron; there’s just something about the concepts that spark ideas in modern Mythos writers. And let me take this opportunity to recommend, once again, The Starry Wisdom Library: The Catalogue of the Greatest Occult Book Auction of All Time to all serious Lovecraft fans or gamemasters.  It is a marvelous resource for anyone writing or gaming in this genre, and (just in case the title didn’t make it obvious) it draws directly from The Haunter of the Dark. Check it out. Check it all out.