Creature Seed: Warpex Cats.

So I saw this picture of Tom Baker being delightedly covered in kittens.

Warpex Cats – Google Docs

Warpex Cats

(felis catus gallifreyus, heinleinus, or ultharus)


These are all distinct species, although they are derived from the Canadian Foldex cat breed; no Warpex is interfertile with regular domestic house cats (or, indeed, another species of Warpex). All three Warpex species strongly resemble the Foldex, both in appearance and temperament. It can in fact be difficult to distinguish a Warpex from a Foldex, at least until the special abilities of the former manifest.

Simply put, these cats have a literally supernatural ability to escape captivity.  How they do so depends on the species.  F. catus gallifreyus has the ability to briefly stop time, while still being able to move normally. F. catus heinleinus can phase their bodies through solid objects.  F. catus ultharus creates a short-lived wormhole to another dimension. These abilities all seem to be related to each other — somehow — but the exact mechanism still eludes researchers.


All of this makes Warpex difficult to keep in one place.  The deniable black ops geneticists at the Canadian Security Intelligence Services has worked around this problem by making the cats as even-tempered, friendly, and comfortable around humans as they could; they’ve largely succeeded.  The typical Warpex stays fairly close to the people taking care of it, although scaring one is an excellent way to get it to run off using esoteric means.  Which is why the animals all have CSIS tracking chips in them, too.

Which can be interesting, given that Warpex make friends with people very easily. Knowledge and use of Warpex has not been disclosed or permitted to the rest of the Five Eyes nations, which would force Canadian retrieval teams to use quiet, deniable methods to get a Warpex back.  Should, of course, a Warpex ever happen to escape.  Or, worse, a pregnant mother.


  • junior says:

    I’m guessing that Schrodinger’s Warpex is a bust.

  • Catseyes says:

    You do realize that cats that live in a group have an innate understanding of tactics? It’s fascinating to watch them gang up on some poor dog. Keeping such a group together is a losing game.

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