Jun
06
2018

So, Val Kilmer’s coming back to be Iceman… hold on a second.

OK, sure, fine, Val Kilmer’s going to be in Top Gun 2.  He probably loves the idea of the paycheck.  But what, exactly, is Top Gun 2 going to be about?

This is not a facetious question.  Top Gun came out over thirty years ago; and since they’re using the same characters and actors, it’s going to be set in the modern era.  OK.  Thirty years ago Maverick was a [looking at Wikipedia, because I refuse to keep this stuff in my own head] O-3 Navy Lieutenant (Goose was an O-2) in his twenties.  If Maverick and Iceman are still in the US Navy after thirty years of service, then they’re either Captains (O-6) in charge of serious naval aviation resources who are wistfully hoping for flag rank, or they’re two-star rear admirals (O-8) who are looking retirement in the face.  In neither case could either man be assumed to have had a horrible career; and as I understand it, after a certain point if you’re not going to be promoted, you get out after you do your twenty and take the military pension.

I’m not saying that you can’t make a good movie about two guys finishing up their military careers while being all goram wistful about the days of wine and roses. I just don’t get how you can make this into, you know, an action flick involving dogfights and… stuff. I mean, shoot, both of those guys almost certainly have families at this point.  Kids old enough to be military itself.  What is Hollywood’s goal here, anyway?

10 Comments

  • Phil Smith says:

    Iceman was a pro. Aviators have to get their surface warfare badge to command a carrier; he could have done that, Maverick less likely. My guess is we find Iceman in command of a carrier battle group, while Maverick is retired and doing something heroic but sketchy – training a ragtag Balkan air defense corps, flying surplus F-5s? Yeah, I like that. About to be overwhelmed by the numerically superior enemy, Maverick calls on his old frenemy, who, against his better judgement, sends up a covering squadron just in time to avert disaster.

    What? You’ve seen worse scripts.

  • Gnarledhotep says:

    I would peg Iceman as the replacement for Jester, training young Maverick the 2nd, with the movie more-or-less a shot-by-shot re-filming of the original, using F-18s instead of Tomcats, or maybe F-35s. Then again, I have low expectations for what comes out of Hollywood.

  • Jeff Weimer says:

    Officers can go up to 40 years, as long as they’re promoting; it gets sketchy at Flag rank (it’s an insular club, you understand) – you’re in as long as 1) the President and Congress still wants you and 2) *you* still want to.
    .
    Usually, at 20 years, they’ll be Commanders or Captains (O-5, O-6) – one doesn’t get a star (usually) until about 25 years or more.
    .
    But yeah, they’ll be Admirals with ~35 years, or out of the service. Maverick could be a contractor flying adversary at TOPGUN, like Neptunus Lex did before he passed away.

  • Belcatar says:

    In Top Gun 2, Sundowner and Wolfman hatch a secret plot to reunite their favorite estranged couple (Iceman and Maverick). Working behind the scenes, they infiltrate the U.S. Navy’s Strike Fighter Tactics Instructor Program as “civilian contractors”, since Charlie is no longer available. The pair Convince the two grizzled warriors to return to Top Gun.
    However, they neglect to inform either man that the other will be present. This leads to fireworks when Maverick and Iceman show up for their first day of work.

    Maverick will say “You said I could be your wingman anytime. And then you didn’t call me for 20 years.”

    And Iceman will say “You had my number. I never changed it.”

    And then Maverick will say “You kept your number all these years? Maybe we can start over.”

    And Iceman will say “You had me at ‘Maybe.'”

    But just as they are about to become Wingmen again, there’s an incident that requires all their skills as pilots. The Belgian Air Force, led by a master pilot from Croatia who calls himself Charlemagne for some reason, attempts to reconstitute the Holy Roman Empire. Maverick and Iceman use all their skills to defeat Charlemagne and prevent Europe from falling into the wrong hands. (Whether Europe is currently in the right hands is beyond the scope of this film).

    At the end, Maverick must choose between doing his duty and possibly losing his long lost Wingman.

    • Moe_Lane says:

      …Wait, why don’t we want a new HRE? Because it’d be Belgian? OK, never mind, the Belgians suck at running things.

      • Belcatar says:

        The problem is that you’re seeing the movie as a thriller.

        I think of more as a Rom-Com.

        • Belcatar says:

          I figured the Beligan Air force is probably the military equivalent of the Sta-Puft Marshmallow Man.

  • acat says:

    Maverick left the service in the early ’90s .. flew for several “private contractors” .. met *the* girl, settled down and got married .. and by 2000, was a pilot for [insert top bidding airline here]..
    .
    Iceman stayed in as long as they’d let him fly, finally got forced out on a medical after one too many rough landings .. and ends up flying for the same airline.
    .
    They unexpectedly reunite flying a 777 (unless Airbus coughs up more..) carrying a high-value cargo .. several nuns and obligatory co-ed volleyball team.
    .
    After nearly coming to blows in the pilot lounge, everything’s frosty .. until Russians attempt to steal the cargo and pull a D.B. Cooper escape ..
    .
    Mew
    .
    .
    .
    p.s. and if that doesn’t work for ya, just imagine it as the plot for “Soul Plane 2” ..

    • Belcatar says:

      Only if you can fit in at least two Righteous Brothers songs. If you can do that, you might have a hit on your hands.

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