Jun
06
2018

Spell: Spamomancy.

Spamomancy – Google Docs

Spamomancy

 

Alas, this is exactly what it sounds like; a form of divination that is based on the generation of spam messages.  Note that this is the generation of spam messages.  This isn’t a morally neutral method of divination; you cast the spell by deliberately and ritually filling up other people’s email accounts with useless mass mailings (at least 100,000 individual spam messages per casting), simply because you want to know the future. It’s obviously not as bad as sacrificing a cat, but it’s not very nice.

But also alas, it’s totally worth it if you’re that sort of person.  Spamomancy excels at telling diviners — OK, it’s like this. To quote Donald Rumsfeld, there are the things that you know; the things that you know that you don’t know; and the things that you don’t know that you don’t know.  Spamomancy goes through that last category like a hot knife through room-temperature butter. A caster who successfully performs this spell will receive a response email within 24 hours that will reveal to him something true, legitimately helpful, and not already known about regarding his current problems.  This can be anything from describing the true motivations of an opponent to the access codes for a Swiss bank account that happens to have just enough funds to allow for a particular purchase.

Needless to say; the more spam sent out as part of the original ritual, the better the reward later.  Add to that the slightly, yet undeniably wrong ‘feel’ that Spamomancy gives out and one can understand why many beneficial magical organizations simply assume that the spell is Infernal in origin. Although the lack of any sort of soul pact is unusual; demons like to lock that sort of thing down.  Then again, over-use of this spell would probably make the point moot.

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