Jun
13
2018

The ‘Tim Burton’s Dumbo’ trailer. …No, really.

To more or less quote Polygon: Tim Burton?  Wait, what?

Yeah, Tim Burton is directing Dumbo, and based on the plot description in the link above he decided to drop a couple of grenades down Disney’s ventilation shaft: “But when they discover that Dumbo can fly, the circus makes an incredible comeback, attracting persuasive entrepreneur V.A. Vandevere (Michael Keaton), who recruits the peculiar pachyderm for his newest, larger-than-life entertainment venture, Dreamland. Dumbo soars to new heights alongside a charming and spectacular aerial artist, Colette Marchant (Eva Green), until Holt learns that beneath its shiny veneer, Dreamland is full of dark secrets.” …Gee. I wonder if there’s going to any, ah, resonances there?

To be fair, though: getting Tim Burton to direct Dumbo was possibly the one thing that would make me stop and reconsider my life choices with regard to Disney live-action films.  I mean, I’ll go see the live-action Mulan, of course (there are going to be battles and avalanches and sword fights and things exploding and Mulan has a standing invitation to my adventuring party). But Dumbo? That was a hard pass. It is no longer a hard pass, and I wonder if Disney was counting on that.

Moe Lane

PS: Where will the crows be?  The crows have no doubt been locked in a box that was wrapped in chains and tossed in a cement block until the block was hardened and then the cement was put on a ship which was then sunk in the Marianas Trench and eaten by Cthulhu. There’s no way that… wait, hold on: I’m getting something from the booth. Ah, the crows are there, and will be voiced by Steve Buscemi, Michael Sheen, Russell Brand, and… Cheech and Chong*.  Goodness gracious, what kind of blackmail does Tim Burton have over Disney? And can he use it to get us a Squirrel Girl/Deadpool movie?

*Name an African-American actor who wants ‘one of the crows in the new Dumbo‘ on his resume. Go ahead, name one.  I’ll wait.

4 Comments

  • jeboyle says:

    Blackmail is what first comes to my jaded, cynical mind, but I dunno…

    Burton just might be capable of magic, or perhaps some good old fashioned Charm on the level of say, Oberon. I had no intention of watching a live-action Dumbo, but now I’m thinking about it.

  • Spegen says:

    Prefer the trailer for the live action Pooh movie instead. Both feel unnecessary.

  • junior says:

    It looks like they’re keeping the pink elephants.

  • bensdad00 says:

    Key and Peele have the b*lls and the skills to pull off the crows.

    Dream casting would have Redd, Eddie and Richard.

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