OK, let me explain why I’m not horrified.
Oakwood ash is the key to making a watermelon look like meat 👀 pic.twitter.com/DAp50wwC8b
— Food Insider (@InsiderFood) August 8, 2018
I’m in the SCA, remember? You know, the people who dress up in medieval clothing and hit each other with rattan sticks and do bardic and all that other stuff? Well, this is actually something that could have come right out of the medieval toolkit: it’s a food that has been altered to look like another kind of food. They called that sort of thing ‘subtleties’ (not every subtlety was edible, mind you), and doing so was a mark of wealth and extravagance. Much like, say, a $75 brined and smoked watermelon.
I will readily grant that to other people, this is an unholy nightmare that mocks both meat and watermelon. That’s a perfectly valid take on the situation. But it wouldn’t have been the weirdest thing that ended up in my bowl at a feast.
On the one hand, watermelon is really tasty and should be eaten more. On the other hand, I cannot see ever looking at watermelon that looks like meat and thinking “I want to eat that”. On the gripping hand, I firmly believe that if other people want to eat the disgusting and bizarre, let them. Just don’t try to force it down my throat.
I’d eat it once, just to say that I had. I certainly wouldn’t eat it twice at $75 a pop.