Wait. They’re rebooting the Pirates of the Caribbean series?

This is not optimal, and not because they’re talking about rebooting it with a female lead.  I’m not going to lie to you: if Disney decides to show me a pirate flick starring a frolicsome she-buccaneer with thigh-high boots, a deeply plunging neckline, and as much skin as PG-13 will allow, I will reluctantly have to let to get away with that.  But I just can’t take the Pirates of the Caribbean series seriously.  Curse of the Black Pearl, I liked.  On Stranger Tides, I liked because it put money in Tim Powers’ pocket.  The rest… well. It’s a movie series based on an amusement park ride.  They were lucky to get one decent flick out of that*.

I get that Disney hates to leave a perfectly good (or at least perfectly saturated) IP on the table, but maybe retire this one?  I mean, shoot, it’s Disney, right?  Surely they know how to spin straw into gold by now.

Moe Lane

*I can’t say that On Stranger Tides was good.  Just that it did a solid for a writer that I like.


  • acat says:

    “Treasure Island”, which had been one of the Disney go-to properties for pirates, has been in the Disney vaults since 2002 .. and that outing stank badly enough it’s likely gonna be another decade before they trot it out again.
    It was quite clever of ’em to do a different pirate piece, IMO .. and I’m pleased they pulled it off as well as they did.
    I do agree, though .. it could do with a decade in the Disney vault.

    • junior says:

      Pirates was one of at least a few different movies, all loosely based off of an attraction at the Disney parks. There was a Haunted Mansion movie. I’m guessing that Tomorrowland, with George Clooney, was another in this particular series of films. I can’t think of any others off the top of my head, though. Pirates of the Caribbean was simply the only one that ever did well at the box office.

      And, as we all know, it did *very* well.

      • acat says:

        Yep, “Tomorrowland” and “Haunted Mansion” (Eddie Murphy) .. but also “Mission to Mars” (Gary Sinise) and … “The Country Bears” (shudder).

  • Finrod says:

    I still give Johnny Depp immense props for figuring out how he could get away with saying the word ‘bugger’ repeatedly in multiple Disney movies.

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