Dec
22
2018

Vegemite Plus [GURPS 4e]

Vegemite Plus – Google Docs

Vegemite Plus

 

Vegemite Plus comes in a jar with a slightly more metallic gold label, has “Plus!” added in purple ink (which glows, faintly, in the dark), and tastes slightly less bitter.  But it’s the ingredients list that raises eyebrows: in addition to the regular items, Vegemite plus includes kingsfoil, aliantha, trama root, moly, elfroot, black lotus, and eezo.  Aside from being a series of intellectual property lawsuits just waiting to happen, falsifying the list of ingredients on a foodstuff violates any number of Australian laws.

Which would mean more, if there was any kind of way to trace the manufacturer.  Vegemite Plus simply shows up in Australian supermarket storage spaces on the first of every month, and the money to pay for it is silently removed from the supermarkets’ bank accounts.  And it’s a very reasonable price, too, considering that the jars are usually all sold out by lunchtime (one per person, sorry). Basically, nobody knows how this is happening, and nobody’s going to rock that boat anyway.

 

Why?  Because one dose of Vegemite Plus gives a +4 to all Survival rolls for the next day (including defaults), as long as it involves Australia in some way (one jar will last about a month and a week, or so).  This includes animal attacks, plant-based attacks, giant spiked hailstones, and anything else that isn’t a human being shooting or stabbing you (a kangaroo stabbing you would be covered, of course).  That’s how those people survive Australia in the first place, you see.  

 

And that’s why Vegemite Plus is so remarkably difficult to purchase.  There’s generally enough produced to protect Australians, and some extra for non-Australians who deserve it.  OK, that last part is a guess, but it seems like a good guess. The best strategy is probably to befriend an Australian, and hope that they don’t feel like dragging your carcass back to town because you got savaged by a sheep.  Which, to be fair, they generally don’t.

 

Oh, and before anybody asks: sure, an Australian will readily admit that this stuff exists.  Then they’ll wait patiently for the person asking about Vegemite Plus to forget about the entire conversation.  Because it always seems to work out that way.

 

The material presented here is my original creation, intended for use with the GURPS system from Steve Jackson Games. This material is not official and is not endorsed by Steve Jackson Games.

GURPS is a registered trademarks of Steve Jackson Games, and the art here is copyrighted by Steve Jackson Games. All rights are reserved by SJ Games. This material is used here in accordance with the SJ Games online policy.

1 Comment

  • acat says:

    An Aussie acquaintance once tried to explain Vegemite .. I don’t *think* there was a “here, taste this” involved but .. I don’t remember most of the conversation. The only lasting effect is that I grin when I hear anything Vegemite related.
    .
    I grin every time one of Lee & Miller’s Liaden characters enjoys a ‘mite handwich… and I grinned while reading this.
    .
    Australians and their foodstuffs are slightly creepy, yes?
    .
    Mew

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