Yeah, this part of Frozen Dreams is definitely going to need some plot work. Gotta remind myself more that this is a first draft, not the magnum opus. It can still be a little clunky.
Snippet:
“The cops have probably sent him over to Tourista Landfill by now.”
“Crap. Do they know who killed him?”
“Yeah, sure. Whoever it was that sold him his first hit of icemold. But what did it now was that he tried to rob a Bee moms-and-pop a few weekends ago. The stonefaces” — cops, to you and me — “decided to call it a suicide.”
I smiled, if a bit crookedly. It’s always nice to see New Californian officials respect the Lore. And you could see the cops’ point; trying to rob a Mormon-run convenience store is a good way to get your throat slit with a Deseret toothpick. Those refugees from the Dominion invasion are nice folks, right up to the point when it looks like you’re about to show steel. Then they like to get stuck in, and they don’t wait for you to finish your thought first.
Deseret Toothpick..
.
I can see that, actually.
.
Mew