Item Seed: “The Muppets Sing The Blues.”

“The Muppets Sing The Blues”

Description: DVD, circa 1990 – 1993, with matching black plastic case.  Printed on the case’s front are the words “The Muppets Sing The Blues.” The DVD, when plays, will show a movie 124 minutes long; there are no opening or closing credits, or even a title.  Looking at the coding on the DVD provides no hints as to the origin of the film.

Plot: When Fozzie visits his cousin Jake Bearloopy in Joliet Prison, a crazy set of circumstances forces Fozzie and Jake to go on the lam.  Kermit and the gang — very much including Dr Teeth, The Electric Mayhem, and Rowlf — have to go rescue them, then rescue everybody else from the madness that follows Jake in his wake.  Guest stars: Roddie McDowell (Eldritch Haddock, Mad Scientist); Chris Farley (Jethro Jones, aspiring bluesman); Elizabeth Brooks (Sister Perpetua, nun with a heart of steel); and a remarkable number of blues singers and performers, either as themselves or as Muppets.

It’s a Muppet film.  Absolutely. Nobody’s ever heard of it.  But it’s a Muppet film (a rather good one, too).  It’s also, indescribably, a Jim Henson film.  There’s just something in the voice of Kermit that’s impossible to duplicate fully.  Or in Jake Bearloopy’s, which is so blatantly John Belushi’s it takes a moment to realize that there’s no possible way that it could be.  The lack of any kind of technical information makes it difficult to track down people who might have worked on The Muppets Sing the Blues, but those who would have to have been involved all universally swear up and down that they have not.

But, honestly, the how isn’t the important question, here.  Alternate timeline, secret history, illicit cloning-braintape technology, somebody stole this copy from Heaven — that’s irrelevant.  It’s a weirdness, and the universe is full of them. No, the important question here is Are there any more films like it?  Because if there are, various shadowy elements inside various secret organizations would rather like a look at what else might be available.  Particularly if commercial transactions would be possible.  After all, one of the great advantages to being a secret conspiracy that controls entire governments is that you  often have a good deal of discretionary income. And nobody to tell you that you’re spending your money frivolously.