Tweet of the Day, Flee Into The Peace And Safety Of A New Dark Age edition.

It’s always a shame when you see people open a Forbidden Book and you can’t stop them.

For one of the oddities of this Age of Man — one that will provide our great-great-grandchildren with many a delicious shudder and thrill of terror — is just how freely we allow our children to be exposed to the crawling horror that permeates two of Pixar’s most popular series. Cars is set in a terrifying post-human apocalypse future whose inhabitants must endlessly recreate a twisted mockery of the humans whom their ancestors crushed under inexorable, blood-maddened wheels. Toy Story recounts the cruel pseudo-life and culture of sapient automatons, created for the transient pleasure of capricious demigods — and then cast aside at the merest whim. Or worse: subjected to casual, almost innocent, cruelty and torture.

And in either case: it will never, ever end. There is no hope. There is no redemption. Whether dead or merely unaware, humanity shall never heal their creations. When the sun finally dies, billions of years from now, sapient cars will still be feebly recreating the Indianapolis 500 on broken rims — and, somewhere in a fossilized landfill, a toy soldier will struggle to move up one last time to the light, and the last stars. Only, continental drift has buried him underneath miles of rock; and by now his limbs are hard, burning diamond, and thus will not obey his maddened mind.

…But, hey, I hear Bo Peep’s back! That’s nice for Woody, I think.


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