Aug
14
2019

Tweet of the Day, PSA: Do Not Put On The Excavated Pre-Aztec Serpentine Stone Mask edition.

Yes, yes, I know. Nobody who reads this site regularly would heedlessly put on an excavated Pre-Aztec serpentine stone mask. But I feel that I have a responsibility to the wider world, here.

I mean, the damnable thing doesn’t even have any eye-holes. That alone is a big red flag, right there. But all it takes is one susceptible grad student and a drunken dare; have those things interesect and the next thing you know, it’s vampires in Mexico City. AGAIN.

18 Comments

  • Aruges says:

    …oh… Uh… what might a person who put one of these on, purely by accident mind you, do? Asking for a friend…

    • Towering Barbarian says:

      In a very kind DC universe they might spend the rest of their life fighting crime and this would be their origin story. Otherwise they would probably spend the rest of their lives causing crime and being a menace and this would be their origin story. Alternatively look for their body to be possessed by the original owner after their soul has been consumed for food. ^_^

      Mind you, I’m deliberately focusing on the more *benign* possibilities. Some of the other ones can get a bit grim. ^_~

  • Jon says:

    I blame the Gou’ald.

  • Aetius451AD says:

    It is kind of pretty.

    *looks around*

    What? It IS.

    • Luke says:

      In a subtly sinister way, yes.
      My first thought mirrored yours, but the longer I look at the thing, the creepier it gets. And I can’t put my finger on why. (I mean, besides the certain association with horrible dark rites involving torture, mutilation, and murder. And that the style is markedly different from any other PreColumbian art I’ve ever seen. )

  • nicklevi86 says:

    Hold on. They said this thing was one of TWO offerings. If this is the thing they DO tell us about, what the Sam Hill is in the other one?

  • BigFire says:

    Is that a JoJo Reference?

    • acat says:

      Jojo?
      .
      The one who thought he was a loner?
      .
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKJqecxswCA
      .
      Mew

      • BigFire says:

        Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure part 1, Phantom Blood. The Japanese manga/anime that took place in 1890 England where an ancient Aztec stone mask is use by the adapted brother of one Jonathan Joestar to become a vampire. After our hero survived the initial attack, he was visited by a mysterious stranger who practice a form of martial art specifically designed to combat vampire. This long running manga series is currently on its 8th story arc and just had its 5th story arc animated. Albeit, from 3rd arc Stardust Crusader onward it went from Kung Fu vs Vampire to Superhero story. The manga got around the power creep issue with superpower by having each story arc covering a different generation and settings.

        Briefly the story goes like this:
        1. Phantom Blood Victorian era Kung Fu vs. Vampire.
        2. Battle Tendency, 1938 era Kung Fu vs the progenitor and creator of the Stone Mask.
        3. Stardust Crusaders, 1988 globetrotting adventure of superhero power adventures going from Japan to Egypt.
        4. Diamond is Unbreakable, 1999 slice of life adventure set in a small northern Japanese town hiding a secret.
        5. Vento Aureo, 2001 the son of one of the major villain of the previous arc decided to take over the largest superpowered manned mafia in Italy, for the good of the country.
        6. Stone Ocean, 2011 Florida, the daughter of Jotaro Kujo (hero of part 3) is framed for murder and send into a rather strange prison.
        7. Steel Ball Run, 1890 alternative universe America where a cross country race is actually a cover for something far more serious.
        8. Jojolion, continuing the story from SBR, set in an alternative setting for part 4.

        • acat says:

          Ah, okay. Manga I generally don’t do as it’s tough to read ’em on an iPhone .. and Anime I pick and choose .. so will take this as a recommendation and give it a try.
          .
          Mew

          • BigFire says:

            JoJo is really good, though the bizarre part of the name is really well deserved. One thing, the author Araki is known for 2 things:

            1. He really likes Western RocknRoll music. Thus lots of characters, Stands (the superhero power thing from part 3 onward) are named after songs and bands from 70s onward. This is why his stuff only start showing up in the West now due to copyright issue.

            2. He really likes all things Neapolitan. He features with the exception of part 3, all of the parts at least features one character from that region. The just animated Part 5 starts out in Naples (with most of the main characters Neopolitan gangsters) before going on road trip all over Italy. Part 4 features a gourmet chef from Naples who was in a small Northern Japanese town for his own reason.

  • Finrod says:

    Personally, my mind went immediately to Rupert Giles:
    .
    “Unbelievable. ‘Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead.’ Americans.”

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