03/17/2024 Snippet, PICKMAN’S MODELS.

Airlocks!

The first team was made up of three grenadiers and two Squad members, and when the door opened again, they had the exact same number of people. “There’s power and air, sir, but no people manning the gate,” the Squaddie told Tobias. “No communications network up on the other side, either. My suit couldn’t even find anything to handshake with.”

Reithner had been listening to one of the grenadiers, presumably telling her the same thing. “Nothing from our suits, either. The atmosphere is breathable, but the temperature is at thirty seven degrees.”

“Well, at least there’s no ice — no, wait.” Tobias frowned. “I forgot: your people still use Celsius. You’re saying it’s hot in there?”

“Yes. Blood temperature, in fact.” She sounded incredulous, which was fair, because so was Tobias. Most of Heinlein Base had been shut down and sealed off in order to conserve heat; the other human-occupied outposts had the exact same problem. If this place was that well heated, they probably had power, and to spare. Yet one more reason to investigate, he thought. Not to mention, handle gently.

Patreon Microfiction: ‘Fine Terran Craftmanship.’

Perhaps ‘Fine Terran Craftmanship’ is simply pro-Browning propaganda. But perhaps we should be unsurprised if, once we are out and about the stars, alien collectors flock to our planet to acquire M1911A1s and Avtomat Kalashnikovas in the same way that we will go to theirs to find guaranteed authentic Altarian needle-pistols and flame-spears. Some aesthetics might be universal.

Book of the Week: Lovecraft’s Iraq.

I saw David Rose’s Lovecraft’s Iraq and I thought I’d give it a whirl. I’m about halfway through it now, and it’s not half bad. The author is a war veteran from the time period that the book’s set in, and he’s obviously intimately familiar with what military life in Iraq was at that point. This gives the book a certain built-in authenticity when it suggests how the military would react to the Mythos.

Warning: it’s kind of bleak. Even by modern “Thomas Ligotti is my dark guru” cosmic horror standards.

#commissionearned

03/16/2024 Snippet, THE BRANDENBURG SANCTION.

Walls!

Gefikst could have punched through the wall in about thirty seconds, but that would have just ended with us eventually fleeing Schmoditten-Schloditten with a host — well, at least a mort — of soldiers after us. Worse, and more importantly, we’d be doing so in public. The idea was to be discreet in our burglary. Making a splash wouldn’t help any of us. That’s why the golem was instead carefully vibrating one finger through the mortar holding the bricks together. Once it had one brick cleared, it would gently yank it out, and give it to me to be carefully stacked on the ground. Francesco ignored the work entirely, but then we didn’t really mind. Honestly, I couldn’t trust him not to drop a damned brick on his foot.

It wasn’t as slow as it sounds, and we didn’t need to take the whole brick wall down, but it was still a nerve-wracking ten minutes of tense work. Yes, nobody was likely to patrol the basements, and yes, security for this building was lax at best, and yes, they weren’t supposed to have even a hint that we were coming, but you wouldn’t believe the things that can happen in even a small caper. At least I was able to hear if someone was coming, once the first brick was out. I’d have trusted Gefikst’s echolocation trick a good deal more if I was the one who was imitating a bat.

Tweet of the Day, @AXECOP Could Use Some Help edition.

A combination of a crooked vendor and a jackwagon of an insurance company. He’s making his online catalog available for a low price to get money together. Personally, I would have been fine with just donating the cash.

03/13/2024 Snippet, PICKMAN’S MODELS.

Airlock!

It was definitely supposed to be a gate. Whoever had put it up had taken doors from the shipping containers up on the surface, including the frames, then mounted them into the rock. There was even a doorsill. The problem was that it was an airlock. Improvised and jury-rigged, but definitely an airlock. That had implications.

Not to mention hindrances. Tobias examined the walls on either side. “I don’t see any communication jacks,” he announced. “No jacks, ports, or plug-ins. Anybody else?”

“No.” Reithner sounded bothered by that, too. If anything, she sounded even more upset than Tobias. “Not even an emergency transmitter. This is a highly unsafe installation.”

“Or they don’t have anybody they want to talk to,” Buckley pointed out. “How far inside do you think we can get with the door closed behind us before we lose signal?”

“Right away.” Tobias had extended his suit’s sensor cable, and was now waving it around. “There’s no EM radiation coming through ahead of us. Once we’re inside, we’re cut off from our bases until we can find a transmitter that’s set up for surface communications.”

“Not gonna lie, sir: that sounds like a great reason to not go inside.” Buckley had gotten more and more darkly sardonic over the last few months, but right now there was no humor in his voice. “They don’t want to talk and they probably don’t want guests. Let’s take the hint.”

The ‘Loan interest rates are up by HOW much?’ Buy My Books! post.

Or if not my books, then for Heaven’s sake buy somebody’s. People are always hustling for sales, in the independent publishing world – but this is not a great time in that particular section of the economy. If there’s an indy author that you haven’t bought from in a while, and you like what they do, they would dearly love for you to catch up on their back catalog.

I know, I know, this is supposed to be a nagging post about buying my stuff. They can do their own advertising and nagging and discreet begging. …I just worry, that’s all.

Surveys away! And the pre-order store is open!

Be sure to check your inboxes. Also: the preorder store is open! It also features some deals on getting signed copies of my books, so keep that in mind. Just bear in mind that TALES FROM THE FERMI RESOLUTION VOL 2 is currently being checked by the beta readers, and won’t be going to the editor until the end of the month. That will affect shipping dates.

But we are on our way!

03/11/2024 Snippet, THE BRANDENBURG SANCTION.

Sewers!

When I said a quick heist, I meant precisely that; we were in the sewers the very next evening. They were Third Werk make, back when Bismarck was rebuilding the Germanies instead of leading them into a blast furnace, and they had a grim Teutonic solidity about them. They were also about twice as large as they needed to be, but I didn’t mind that. At least none of us would have to stoop. The smell, though? It snuck in, even past the camphor potions Francesco and I had choked down before entering the place. It’s entirely possible that we both retained our suppers simply because neither of us wished to be the first to vomit in front of the other.

Gefikst accordingly took the lead, being immune to vapors and miasmas. It also obligingly stomped into oblivion several of the giant spiders that lurked down here, no doubt eager to supplement their diet with something, ah, fresher. It is a measure of the awfulness of the place that the combined reeks of ichor and venom actually refreshed the air slightly.

Still, all bad things come to an end, and we had to endure the ordure of the public sewers for only few eternities before we found the access tunnel we were looking for. The gate was secured with an alchemical lock so cheap, I don’t know why they bothered. Because gates are supposed to have locks, I suppose. At any rate, a spare key was left in the same ‘hidden’ compartment that every bloody gate in the Third Werk had, so I didn’t have to bother with picking it myself. Or knocking it open with a kick in just the right place. The fewer disturbances we left, the happier I’d be.