Jun
22
2020
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Seed-Cakes!

Uses this recipe, only with orange zest and poppy seeds. This is kind of an escalation, in its way: yesterday I noticed that my neighbors were cooking on the BBQ, and I was roasting up some vegetables myself. So I laid on them some baked potatoes and roasted corn and tossed in some fresh onions because I can’t cook them anyway. I mean, hey, all that goes with BBQ, right? No sense wasting good vegetables.

Only they sent over a couple of groaning plates of BBQ – far too much in response to the corn and potatoes – so there’s nothing to do except go bake some seed-cakes and send one of them over. This is my standard go-to when it comes to getting free BBQ from neighbors, and it’s worked out well for everybody so far.

Written by in: Cookery | Tags:
Apr
25
2020
5

Caramelized Onion Bacon Tarts!

Behold!

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Apr
24
2020
3

Two more Kickstarter backers and I make – God -help me – *Caramelized* Onion Bacon Tarts.

How far am I prepared to go for the FROZEN DREAMS Kickstarter? Friends, I’m ready to caramelize onions. Even though we all know that all those articles about how fast and easy it is to make caramelized onions are cruel LIES that society tells itself in order to keep from facing the awful TRUTH of an uncaring COSMOS. But yeah, two more backers – a mere two! – and Caramelized Onion Bacon Tarts get made:

God save the Republic.

Apr
13
2020
6

Fulfillment of the Great 04/13/2020 Kickstarter Flat-Out Cooking DARE!

Wow, OK, that worked. “That” being my promise to make this recipe if I hit two grand on the FROZEN DREAMS Kickstarter today. I did, thus necessitating the assemblage of the ingredients. I was particularly impressed with the way my wife handed me a bunch of muffin cups when I asked, slightly despairingly, whether we even had such an esoteric item. She’s good at that sort of thing.

Anyway: behold! Red Wine Chocolate Mini Muffins!

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Apr
13
2020
10

The Great 04/13/2020 Kickstarter Flat-Out Cooking DARE.

Here we go. IF I hit $2,000 on the Kickstarter today I shall make this recipe:

If we hit $2,000 on the Kickstarter today I will make this recipe: https://cookpad.com/us/recipes/4446400-red-wine-chocolate-mini-muffins https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/moelane/frozen-dreams-a-novel

Posted by Moe Lane on Monday, April 13, 2020

I have everything except the sprinkles. I will do this. I will not be constrained by the artificial chains of sanity, and none shall stand in my way! Not society, not civilization, and nay, not even my wife and her endearing wince at my enthusiasms! The muffins will be made. THIS, I COMMAND!

Plus, I get muffins out of it.

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Apr
02
2020
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Banana Bread!

No online recipe for this one: I got it from Betty. Normally my wife makes these, but she didn’t have time today and I figured I’d give it a whirl. Turned out fine, although I should have added a little vinegar to the milk I used in lieu of buttermilk. Ach, well, it tastes good and it’s reasonably fluffy banana bread.

Dec
25
2019
1

Standing rib roast!

Watched that sumbitch like a hawk, I did.

Ate up pretty good, too: the center roast hit just the right spot of rare for my father-in-law and the remains promise many, many wonderful things later. Also, I may or may not have had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner (standing rib roast, roast potatoes/sweet potatoes, parboiled string beans in sesame oil*) and am now nursing a rum-and-coke while my wife loads the dishwasher. All in all, a good dinner.

Moe Lane

*Oh! And my wife’s mushroom gravy from last night.

Dec
24
2019
8

Just realized I can’t use garlic or onion for tomorrow’s standing rib roast. What do I do?

To answer your unspoken question: my wife is allergic to garlic and onion and related foods (yes, she’s not happy about it either). So I can’t use them for a rub. Salt and pepper are both fine, thank God. Anything else I should consider?

Dec
23
2019
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Christmas seed-cakes!

The neighbor gets the seed-cake that doesn’t have a scorched bottom.

Not that I burned the other one, thankfully. It just has a slightly darker bottom than the other. But you give the better seed-cake to the neighbor.

Moe Lane

PS: This is the poppy-seed and orange seed-cake, not the caraway and lemon one.

Written by in: Cookery | Tags:
Dec
22
2019
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Snippet from this month’s short story “Bearding the Invader” (Patreon, paywall).

Patreon!

Link here. You know how it is: trying to juggle writing stuff during the holidays, and all that. Especially since we thought that the tree was on fire at one point. Turned out that our neighbor’s boyfriend was just making barbecue ribs in the back yard next door.

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