Open thread.

Sorry, folks, but it’s a war zone out there right now when it comes to popular entertainment and I want to be throwing spoons at stupid people’s heads. At this rate, I may need to switch over to doing nothing but creative work all day. Or, heck, start cooking-blogging. People like recipes*.

Moe Lane

*My wife managed to throw together a rather good beef-with-gravy mix over egg noodles this evening.  I had some chopped-up pot roast and onions ready for quesadillas, but she wasn’t up for all the cheese; so she made a roux, added a bunch of beef broth, stirred in half a packet of onion soup mix, and then dumped in the beef. By the time everything was hot the noodles were ready.  Hot, reasonably fast, and tasty on a wet autumn day.  We’ll have to remember this one later.


I’m pleased with how this quick BBQ sauce came out.

‘Quick’ in relative terms; basically, I threw together tomato paste, water, brown sugar, wine vinegar, some honey for the sake of the thing, Worcestershire Sauce, stirred it smooth, then started adding in salt, pepper, paprika, ground mustard, and chili powder until I started getting a bite when I tasted it.  Then I put it on medium-low and walked away for an hour.  It came along pretty good; I wanted something that would help with the leftover pork chops, and I succeeded.

I should have maybe added some onion powder, though. Maybe next time.  The trick here is to actually use the stuff in the meantime.

Written by in: Cookery | Tags:

Pumpkin Spice season is almost upon us.

I’m eating a bowl of Pumpkin Spice Life cereal even as I write this.  Well, OK, I’m eating, then typing, and so on.  Because if I try to eat and type at the same time then the milk gets into the keyboard, and that’s bad.

The point is: it’s that time again! I know most of you hate the entire pumpkin spice thing, which is fine. Although I think that most people wouldn’t find the cereal objectionable, on its own merits.  It’s mostly the ruthless imposition of the flavor in the fall months that annoys folks. Well, folks who aren’t me, because I’m one of the horrible people who encourages them to put pumpkin spice in All The Things.  I’d apologize for that, except that I try not to lie. So:

The Spice Must Flow.


I am about to go full gonzo on this London Broil. [UPDATED]

[UPDATE: We cooked it. We looked it a little. We cooked it some more. Then we devoured about a pound and a half of it.  This recipe works.]

This recipe.  This recipe is telling me to break every rule of the London Broil and simply treat it like… a steak. No marinades, no slow-cooking, no careful use of specialized enzymes, nothing: just salt, pepper, and garlic that bastard, and throw it on the goram grill.



Screw it.  No guts, no glory, right?  Honor my name if I don’t make it out.


Tweet of the Day, I Can’t Figure Out Virginia’s Answer, Either edition.

In fact, I pretty much agree with everything the guy said:



Aftermath of the Bacon Pickle Fries.

The bacon pickle fries were not a disaster, but they were a disappointment.

The bacon did not wrap properly around the pickles; I am unsure as to whether this is due to the bacon not being tight enough, or because the pickles were too small, or both.  The bacon also did not crisp as much as I’d prefer, either; I suspect that this is due to the nitrate-free thing.  Still: the bacon cooked, the pickles did not burn, and the two flavors worked well together.  My wife was surprised at how much she liked the dish, because she was frankly skeptical about the whole affair.


Tomorrow is the Day of Bacon Pickle Fries.

Tomorrow is going to be a day of wonders.  And artery clogs. But mostly wonders.

Also: I actually need some feedback; my wife is not really supposed to have nitrates, and even the organic, ‘nitrate-free’ bacon still has some of that stuff in it thanks to celery salt or something.  Is there a way to have a pork product that lacks nitrates, but can still be realistically referred to as ‘bacon?’  Because I’d like to be able to cook it more often.  …Not that maybe I should, given that it’s really not all that great for me. (more…)


Bacon Pickle Fries. Bacon Goram Pickle Fries.

This is it.  This is the choice for the Destructor.  It’s just… complete.  I don’t see how you can top Bacon Pickle Fries for sheer audacious, artery-clogging wonderment.

Of course I’m bloody making these.  I just need to get some bacon, only the stores are all closed*.

*If there’s bacon in the house, the bacon gets cooked and eaten.  That is simply the way of it. So I leave bacon in the store, until I need to buy, cook, and eat it.


A Chicken and Dumplings Day.

Honestly, it was a slow day. The most interesting thing? Chicken and dumplings. We were figuring out what to do with dinner. I had tossed in some fresh corn to boil because we accidentally had forgotten about the last batch of corn until it was kind of terrifying, and we had some leftover chicken. My wife mused about that for a moment, murmured “Chicken and corn. Chicken and dumplings? Do we have chicken broth?”

Of course we have chicken broth. There’s always several different kinds of broth in the pantry, because I mostly do the shopping at this point (which is why there’s also always one-use Emergency Pork and Beans) and if you have broth you are halfway to recycling your leftovers. As it was in this case. Came out good, too. I do not know how to dumpling well, alas, but my wife does, so I left it to her and it came out nice, with a good heavy gravy. It could have only been better if we were eating it in November, but the weather’s been nice, so… eh?

And that was my day. Chicken. And dumplings. Not very exciting, but tasty.


Need to figure out how to pickle these watermelon rinds.

I’ve heard of it, and I just chopped up a watermelon, so I’ve got the rind.  Alas, the recipes online are contradictory, if not actually argumentative with each other.  However, I have a bunch of readers who cook, so feel free to suggest recipes for pickled watermelon rind. I’m not afraid of a little work, but I don’t want to spend eight hours fiddling with all the bits, either.

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