Category: Movies

Tweet of the Day, I Admit That I Don’t Know Why Syfy Didn’t Do This Before, Either edition.

That they ask that question of themselves is why I’m putting it up. I have to respect at least a small amount of self-awareness in this regard. Because it’s a legitimate question.

The “…But They LOSE” THE DARK CRYSTAL: AGE OF RESISTANCE trailer.

I cannot emphasize this enough. They LOSE. The entire species of the Gelflings will be pared down to two individuals. The Age of Resistance will fail. The Skeskis will eventually win in the end, then decay in their turn until the events of the movie.

What is the point of watching this world struggle, and die?

Continue reading The “…But They LOSE” THE DARK CRYSTAL: AGE OF RESISTANCE trailer.

The “I will declare KANLY if they f*ck this up” LITTLE WOMEN trailer.

I am a forgiving man. When they zombified STARSHIP TROOPERS, I held my peace and let it go, because this was the business we were in. When they skinned WILD WILD WEST and turned it into a skin mask, I averted my eyes in distaste. When they butchered ANNE OF GREEN GABLES, I narrowed my eyes, ground my teeth, and shook my head in contempt. . But you will not f*ck up LITTLE WOMEN, you Hollywood motherf*ckers. Do you hear me? DO YOU F*CKING HEAR ME?

You get one chance. ONE.

Continue reading The “I will declare KANLY if they f*ck this up” LITTLE WOMEN trailer.

The MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE Honest Trailer. [UPDATED]

[UPDATE: My lovely and talented wife wishes it to be known that she always knew how stupid the movie was; what was driven home for her was how tedious it was. The management regrets the error. – Mgt.]

Oddly enough, my wife decided to watch MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE last night. Right to the point where she realized anew how incredibly stupid it was, and then she stopped. You can kind of tell that Honest Trailers agrees with her, only with more exasperation because they played with these toys growing up so it’s kind of personal, OK?

Moe Lane

PS: Do I want to know why the title isn’t, you know, “He-Man?”

I’d like to note for the record that my problems with THE HUNT…

…were decidedly not due to any current topicality, either real or (frankly) imagined. Quite the opposite: I thought the whole idea behind THE HUNT was far too absurd to be believable — and far too obnoxious to be truly watchable anyway. Mind you, I’m not surprised that they yanked the film for probably a couple of months. Contra their own opinion of themselves, Hollywood isn’t very good at dealing with people screaming at them.

And writing anything further would be crossing my personal line, so I shan’t.

Moe Lane

Disney/Marvel considering a split personality Deadpool.

The question is apparently whether they can get away with a Deadpool that’s R-rated on his own, and PG-13 when he’s in the MCU. …Ah. Yes? Just tell Ryan Reynolds that he can crack wise about the restrictions onscreen at least once per MCU movie. And then everybody else will ignore it, because Deadpool is this crazy guy who thinks that he’s in a bunch of movies. This is part of the Deadpool brand, remember? They can lampshade any damned thing that they want, just by having it come out of the Mouth of the Merc.

Honestly, this isn’t really rocket science.

Are these Sharpe TV series any good?

YouTube keeps showing me clips from Sharpe, and they’re invariably filled with people that I would naturally assume to be utter jackwagons on sight who then turn out to be actually personable, in a deeply entertainingly sarcastic sort of way. Is it worth the time to watch, though? I can probably maintain using nothing but YouTube clips.