Please note: like Sonny Bunch, I am also fat (well, stout) and slow. Anyway, Sonny has this to say on the subject of what to do when a slow, fat child steals your stuff:
Look, I can’t believe this has to be said, but: If a slow, fat child steals your stuff you should not only chase that slow, fat child down and have him arrested but also humiliate him as harshly as you can and as publicly as you can in the hopes that other slow, fat children will be deterred from doing the same thing. And even if it deters exactly zero slow, fat children from embarking on a similar life of crime, you should do so anyway because stealing is wrong and thieves should be punished.
If you want context for this statement, look here: essentially, a slow, fat child stole a cell phone from a woman, and the woman proceeded to chase said slow, fat child down the street for five blocks until she could capture him for the police. Gawker – of course – thinks that the woman is the Worst Person Ever, and actually counsels the world to let packs of slow, fat children ‘nonviolently’ steal your phones*. Aside from being absolutely insane, that argument doesn’t even fit the facts on the ground. From that NY Post article: (more…)