Feb
14
2018
0

Adventure Seed: Language-Oriented Vectored Ecstasy.

Language-Oriented Vectored Ecstasy – Google Docs

So many possible bad jokes, here.  So many.

Language-Oriented Vectored Ecstasy

(L.O.V.E.)

 

Yes, before anything is said: they came up with the acronym first.  But it’s a fair one.  The goal was to come up with a way to overload the pleasure centers of the human brain via the use of particular phonemes, and the researchers succeeded. ‘Vectored’ is maybe a bit of a stretch, but LOVE is not indiscriminate in its effects, so it’s a fair enough use of the word.  At least from the point of view of the acronym writers.

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Jan
29
2018
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Adventure Seed: “Super Blue Blood Moon Attack!”

Every time I heard the phrase “super blue blood moon” (it’s a lunar eclipse thingy going on Wednesday morning), I kept adding “Attack” at the end of it. Eventually I just gave up and went with it.

Super Blue Blood Moon Attack – Google Docs

Super Blue Blood Moon Attack!

So much of modern occultism becomes remarkably less opaque once you realize that most of the modern (defined as “1980 to 2030 AD”) esoteric Words of Power originally manifested themselves in children’s animated television programs.  Oh, not the actual words themselves. You can’t achieve apotheosis by lifting a toy weapon in the air and invoking a catchphrase.  But those catchphrases are usually phonetic mnemonics for the actual Words of Power, or at least the rituals used to acquire those Words.  More information is encoded in the storylines, the backgrounds, the sound effects themselves: even technical glitches can have esoteric meaning.  And no, nobody knows why the Source of Magic picked such a bizarre method of spreading the Lore around. Sometimes things just happen.

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Jan
10
2018
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Adventure Seed: Operation ENDOSCOPE PARLAY.

Operation ENDOSCOPE PARLAY – Google Docs

Operation ENDOSCOPE PARLAY

 

Good morning. As you are all aware, spell-casting using anagrams was the go-to occult discipline of the Seventeenth Century AD, and continued to retain some nostalgic popularity until the first half of the Nineteenth. Unfortunately, with the rise of modern linguistics the power available to linguistic magic skyrocketed, with typically horrific results.  The dirty war conducted between rival magical circles of semioticists need not be reviewed here: suffice it to say that the extermination of the last holdout Fascist and Soviet deep-penetration doomsday linguistic cults in 1953 was a close-run thing. Sufficiently so that the esoteric world’s subsequent tacit abandonment of Latin was deemed regrettable, but necessary in order to prevent future breakdowns in language, perception, and local space-time.

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Dec
07
2017
1

Adventure Seed: ‘The Children of Elf and Orc.’

Children of Elf and Orc – Google Docs

The Children of Elf and Orc

 

It is said that, “When the child of Elf and Orc comes into its own, the world will shake and the sky will burn.”  Of course, it is usually said in tones of utter disbelief, because one of the laws that the gods set down for the world is this: the demihuman races cannot mate with each other. People have tried to get around the problem — in every conceivable way — but there isn’t a magic or miracle or mechanism that can accomplish the job.  Humans can mate with pretty much everyone, but other than that it’s strictly ‘procreate within your own species.’

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Oct
25
2017
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Adventure Seed: the Kingdoms of the Harvested Meat Map.

Kingdoms of the Harvested Meat Map – Google Docs

Kingdoms of the Harvested Meat Map

Physical Description: a wrinkled, somewhat used page with an outline map of the United States of America printed on it.  The Kingdoms of the Harvested Meat Map is further annotated, in a highly bizarre fashion.  What appears to be crude boundary outlines are scrawled on the map in blue, a variety of outlandish and unsavory names are written in red, and a large number of green dots are scattered throughout the map. (more…)

Oct
07
2017
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Adventure Seed: Operation HANDLEBAR APRICOT.

Operation HANDLEBAR APRICOT – Google Docs

Operation HANDLEBAR APRICOT

 

On Wednesday, August 2, 2017, a National Parks Service worker at the Saugus Iron Works Historical Site in Saugus, Massachusetts discovered the violently murdered corpse of an older woman. As per NPS policy in Special Metaphysical Enforcement Areas (which includes the Saugus site), the site was immediately secured until an emergency containment team could be dispatched. Fortunately, the immediate crime scene could be isolated from outside view while containment protocols were followed; the area was judged sanitized by the early morning of Thursday, August 3.

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Sep
30
2017
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Adventure Seed: Sam’s Dojo.

Sam’s Dojo – Google Docs

Sam’s Dojo

 

Sam’s Dojo is located in a strip mall convenient to the campaign. It’s not much to look at, visually: the Dojo is essentially a big open space with a lot of mats on the floor, an office in one corner, and a bunch of karate equipment scattered about.  The place is clean and well run, and its owner Sam Cohen is a genuinely nice guy and good teacher of American Kenpo, but he’s also about as generic a karate instructor as you’re likely to ever see. You kind of have difficulty remembering what he looks like, once Sam’s out of your field of vision.

 

And he has almost no paper trail.  Neither does the dojo, come to that. And nobody can quite remember when Sam started teaching students.

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Sep
28
2017
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Adventure Seed: Calling in the Other Cleaners.

Calling in the Other Cleaners – Google Docs

Calling in the Other Cleaners

 

Blame this.

 

Who does the cleaning up after a major necromantic event is one of those things that nobody ever really thinks about before they join one or another of the groups in the Great Game. The assumption always seems to be that somebody must be responsible for it, so clearly somebody already is. And never mind the piddling little details, like methodologies, safety protocols, staffing, overtime rates, time cards, scheduling, HR, annual certifications; who joins the Illuminati to do all of that?

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Sep
17
2017
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Adventure Seed: Operation MONOGRAM AZURE.

Operation MONOGRAM AZURE – Google Docs

Operation MONOGRAM AZURE

 

Twelve hours ago, six test subjects completed an eighteen month joint NASA/ESA experiment where they stayed, isolated, in an facility located underneath Mount Sermitsiaq in Greenland. The goal was to simulate, to an extent not attempted before, the conditions of a voyage to Mars; the ‘astronauts’ were deliberately kept even more isolated than in other experiments, and were informed ahead of time that the experiment would not be halted for anything less than an emergency with a high chance of literal death.  The six subjects volunteered anyway, and appeared to go on to have a remarkably straightforward and drama-free test session.

 

We are using the term ‘apparently’ because the exit interviews of the six subjects have provided some extremely alarming results:

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Aug
14
2017
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Adventure Seed: The Knockerhood.

Knockerhood – Google Docs

The Knockerhood

 

For as long as men have gone down into mines, they have told stories about mining spirits.  Sometimes the spirits were considered malevolent, but more often — particularly in the British Isles — they were essentially seen as being benevolent entities who would warn human miners of dangerous conditions. The Cornish and Welsh called them Knockers, or Bucca; and, like all good tale-telling traditionalists, the miners brought the idea of the Knockers along when immigrating to America.  

 

Where the Knockers promptly joined the union.

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Aug
04
2017
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Adventure seed: The Catallus Conspiracy.

Blame this.

The Catallus Conspiracy – Google Docs

The Catallus Conspiracy

 

Who?  Gaius Valerius Catullus. He was a Roman poet of the late Republic era.  His poetry only survives to the present via the timely copying of a mysterious found, then lost manuscript — ah, yes, you’re wisely nodding your head.  Yes, trust those conspiratorial instincts of yours.  They will serve you well, in the Order.

 

So. Yes, those weren’t actually Catallus’s poems. They only exist because Catallus was a real person, who wrote real poetry, and who happened to be referenced by enough public figures later that it was deemed necessary to do more that time than simply bierce his poems and blame it all on those pesky monastery mice.  So our medieval ancestors in the Order had some of their best people at the time put together a suitable body of work, and passed it off as being from the poet.  Back in 1300 AD, this was simplicity itself.

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Jun
21
2017
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Adventure seed: The Ust-Kuyga Anomaly.

Blame this.

Ust-Kuyga Anomaly – Google Docs

The Ust-Kuyga Anomaly

 

Roughly 12 hours ago, a party of illegal mammoth ivory miners came stumbling into the desolate Siberian settlement of Ust-Kuyga with an unbelievable tale. Well, unbelievable to anybody who wasn’t looking for certain keywords in babbled reports, not to say access to certain satellites that continually passively scan for spikes of certain forms of radiation. One of those satellites was in place to do a deeper scan, which turned up sufficiently positive to justify this on-the-fly briefing. It’s a long way to Vladivostok, even with military transport.  

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