A Field Guide to Awkward Silences was written by Washington Post writer Alexandra Petri: I got it for my wife as a present. My wife read it, and then promptly told me that I should read it, too. I’m about a third of the way through – Fallout Flu – but it’s pretty freaking hysterical so far. Not my usual style at all, but still worth a look. Continue reading Book of the Week: “A Field Guide to Awkward Silences.”
I’m sorry, but I find this hysterical.
Voicemail 15: Paul. John. Man, that voicemail message. I’ve got it memorized now, ha! Ha. I just want to talk to you. Can’t we just talk? About, you know, dreams and stuff? I have a lot of dreams. Last night I had a dream. I dreamed that I was a goatherd and I lived in a deep dark tunnel where there was no regular order and the goats were very critical of my performance. But I was finally going to get to stop. I was climbing up out of the tunnel, up toward the light, where I would never have to see another goat again. I felt the breeze on my face. I saw the sunshine. And then they pulled me back. (long silence, sound like ice cubes clinking in a glass) They pulled me back, Paul. Just when I thought I was out. Just when I was reaching for the light. They pulled me back. But I can’t go back. Paul. I. Can. Never. Go. Back.
Then again, as you all know: I retain a certain rough sympathy for John Boehner. Which is no doubt a flaw in my character, and/or a sign of my being infected by the Beltway – still, there it is.
PS: Dang straight I’m a goat. When it comes to political analogies… better to be a goat than to be a sheep, pig, cow, or chicken. Better by far.
I am growing to be very fond of Alexandra Petri:
As long as we’re on the subject of flags that should and should not be flown in states, let’s take a moment to talk about state flags.
Every state flag is wrong. If you don’t believe me, look at them. Here are the 50 worst.
…and then she proceeds to rip each one apart. It’s definitely worth a read: not great art, but I laughed a goodly bit. We could use a bit more humor today.