Moe Lane

…game; does anybody know where I can find a saved game editor for the PC version of Assassin’s Creed II?  I need to get past this [expletive deleted] stupid intro race quest that I don’t know how I got past during my first run-through and, you know, it’d be great if I could just start up again after this point, only Ubisoft apparently doesn’t want to give me access to old save points, and let’s not even get started on the lack of a Hi, I’m a middle aged guy that sucks at video games so take it easy on me, OK? setting.  Megaraccoon suit?  Give me the goram megaraccoon suit. Or a goram save editor.

…Sorry.  Four freaking days.  I’m going to break out Deus Ex: Human Revolution until I feel better.

It’s interesting: I decided to get back to Assassin’s Creed 2  after all, which meant grabbing a Logitech Gamepad F310 (that gamepad seemed to be the most cost-effective choice, overall), and now I’ve realized something: I’ve never actually used the latest generation of video game controllers before.  Or, probably, the last few generations before them.  Only, the video game people (fairly reasonably) expect that their users have are in fact used to contemporary game controllers.  I’m now starting to understand why a lot of console gamers hate PCs as a game platform: there’s a completely different set of muscle memories involved.

That’s it.  Just wanted to note this.

I’m at a bit of an impasse, here.  I have sucked out all the juices possible for Knights of the Old Republic and Knights of the Old Republic 2.  I’ve long since gotten everything that I was going to get out of Dragon Age 2; I’m now just waiting for the next DLC. Mass Effect 3 Collector’s Edition is months away.  Right now, I have two choices: try to get back into Assassin’s Creed 2, or else fire up Deus Ex: Human Revolution.  The problem with the former is that I probably really do need to pick up something like Xbox 360 Controller if I want to play the game; the problem with the latter is that I had it reserved for January or February, when the ME3 shakes would start really getting bad.

Anybody got an opinion? – You don’t have to have one, by the way.  As I said, this is a First World problem.  I should just be grateful that I have access to clean water, food, and clothing.

I’m facing the endpoint of one of the tombs.  I know the answer (lots of jumpy-flippy stuff); but I just don’t have the reflexes to execute the answer within the freaking time limit.  There’s no way to adjust the difficulty level, there’s no way to abort the mission, there’s no way to revert to a previous save and simply go do something else, and there’s no freaking cheat code to let me stop having to do a part of a game that I don’t, you know, enjoy.  After a couple of days I just gave up and fired up Mass Effect.  I’ve only finished that game once; I can still get enjoyment out of it.

I think that Assassin’s Creed 2 is the first Ubisoft game that I’ve ever played – and if they’re all like this in terms of customizing game play then it’s probably going to be the last one, too.